In fifty years of marriage, I have learned many lessons. One lesson I’ve had to learn is that “It’s not about me.” Our Lord said: “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). I use this now to end every wedding ceremony. This is the call to self-denial in all of life for the benefit of those around us. It is part of “Love your neighbor as yourself.” It is the very epitome of Christ’s earthly life: Philippians 2:3-5 says, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus.” Our expectations of a happy marriage, whereby we are benefitted by the other, may seem to be rational and normal, but they are destructive to true happiness in marriage.
