During this time, a throw-away hurtful comment by a young man whilst I was dancing set me on a very destructive path. I developed anorexia (an eating disorder). I thought I was in control; I thought I didn’t need food; my periods stopped; and I weighed less than 6 stone. Little did I know at that time that it was controlling me.
Mum and dad invited me to their baptism. I said I would go on condition dad dropped me off at a club after. During that service, my dad was in tears as he spoke about how Jesus had saved him. I was so embarrassed – I’d never seen my dad cry before. Then came the message, and I can honestly say I felt I was the only one in the room. How did this man I’d never met before, know so much about me? What had my mum and dad been telling him? That was, I truly believe, the first time Jesus’ death on the cross spoke to my heart. God was showing me I needed Him.
I didn’t become a Christian then, but it was the start of a journey. Over the next twelve months, I started to question what life was really all about; what was its purpose; why was I here? I dug out the little New Testament and started to read it on my bus journey to work (hidden behind a magazine so no-one could see I was reading the Bible). I started to notice the beauty of the morning sunrise and the beauty of creation around me.
I read right through to the last book in the New Testament, the book of Revelation, which talks about Jesus’ return and God’s judgement. I came one day to Revelation 21:8, “But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and ALL LIARS – their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulphur, which is the second death.”
It suddenly hit me. I’d always thought of myself as a good, decent person, but I knew I’d told lies. Here the Bible was telling me that I was going to experience this second death in hell because of my sin. It was then I realised I was a sinner before a holy God and needed saving from my sin.
So, on my way to work, walking through Bury town centre I asked Jesus to forgive my sin and to save me. It was as if He was standing right by my side, taking hold of my hand and saying to me that I was His now, and He would never let me go. Such assurance He gave me, one who knew so very little.
From that moment, everything changed. I felt a joy I’d never experienced before, a sense of wonder at all around me, and a strong desire to share this good news with others. I wanted to know more and had a hunger to learn about Jesus. The hymn “And can it be?” describes this experience perfectly – verse 4 says, “Long my imprisoned spirit lay, fast bound in sin and nature’s night. My eye diffused a quickening ray. I woke, the dungeon flamed with light; my chains fell off; my heart was free; I rose, went forth and followed Thee.” I started to attend church and was baptised, giving testimony to Jesus’ saving work in my life.
The Bible says in John 3v5-7 “Jesus answered, ‘I tell you the truth, no-one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying “you must be born again.’” This is what happened on that day, my spirit was made alive. Becoming a Christian is personal. Jesus came into the world to save sinners, which includes every one of us.
For me, I can look back and see that God in His great love drew me to Himself, when I had no thoughts of Him. He gently brought people and circumstances that all linked together in a chain of events, opened up my heart to my need of Him through His word and brought me to the foot of the cross to see Jesus dying in my place. Maybe today, this is a link in a chain for you – may God be merciful to your soul.
My Life As A Christian
That was 40 years ago and much has happened in my life since then. I have picked some significant events to share with you and hopefully encourage your hearts to trust God.
Once you become a Christian, life doesn’t suddenly become a bed of roses. That has never been promised us in the Bible. As a Christian, sin still is within us, and around us. However, the Lord has promised that He will be with us, that He will never leave us or forsake us, and He will be our comfort and strength in difficult times.
My anorexia didn’t go away overnight. It took time, and the Lord graciously showed me through my mum. She said to me one day, “Lesley, you are telling everyone at work how they need Jesus, but you are slowly killing yourself in front of them. What kind of testimony is that to them?” I realised at that moment that my words and my life ought to be as one. So, I asked the Lord to help me, and a week later I was eating again – and since then, I haven’t looked back.
I very much wanted to tell people of the way Jesus had saved me and how much they, like me needed saving too. A missionary from New Tribes Mission came to church and spoke about unreached peoples. This truly inspired my young soul, and in 1988 I gave over work and started Bible School in Matlock, went to America to Boot Camp and continued on to Language School. Even though I didn’t go to the mission field, I learned a lot of foundational truths through that time. The Lord also graciously provided for me. I had no guaranteed means of income during that time, and yet I finished the course debt free. At one point, I’d received no money for two weeks and yet each day during that time I was invited out for a meal. It was wonderful to see the Lord’s providing hand. Yet the Lord had another plan for my life.
In 1993 I met Clive, and we married in 1996. We’ve had a wonderful marriage and have many happy times together. We have 2 precious sons from Clive’s previous marriage, 2 beautiful daughters-in-law, and 5 wonderful grandchildren. The Lord has really blessed us. But also, as a couple, we have been through many trials.
My health has suffered over the years, with blood clots, and undiagnosed endometriosis that led to many operations and procedures, and eventually to a twisted ovary in 1997. Clive says he could write a traveler’s guide to hospital restaurants through the many hospitals I have been in over the years.
Oliver (our pastor) visited me in hospital during that time and left a verse with Clive and I that has been so significant to us and has carried us through many trying times. Psalm 20v7, “Some trust in chariots, and some in horses, but we trust in the Name of the Lord our God”. This was so helpful when, on Christmas Day 2010, I was admitted to hospital with a twisted bowel. I had to be resuscitated and undergo a major operation, which resulted in a temporary ileostomy for 12 months. The surgeon said to me that God must still have a work for me to do, as it was so serious he didn’t know how I had survived.
Our trust was in the Lord for His outcome, but He also graciously provided a wonderful team of doctors and nurses whose skill and care were greatly appreciated.
In the year 2000, as a family, we experienced a very tragic incident. Clive’s (and his sister Angela’s) cousin was murdered. We got a call in the middle of the night from Clive’s auntie. Then there was the trial to go through, and a very difficult court case. Through that time, I witnessed the Lord’s great grace in that situation. The policeman who broke the news to Clive’s auntie was a Christian and was able to pray with her. During the murder trial, I saw the strength the Lord gave her to testify in court, when she felt she’d no strength of her own. Ultimately, I saw the Lord over time change any bitterness and anger towards the perpetrator, to a forgiveness and peace that could only have come from Him. It was a very humbling experience that left a lasting impression, how the Lord can sustain us through the most difficult times, and how through His grace and forgiveness He can change our hearts.
In 2015 my little great-niece was diagnosed with leukemia at 9 months old. She spent 2 years in hospital with endless rounds of chemotherapy and 2 bone marrow transplants. During this time, the Lord was showing me the importance of prayer, both as an individual, but also as the wider Christian community. God doesn’t promise to answer our prayers as we want, but there is a source of strength and comfort that can be obtained through speaking to our Heavenly Father. Many times, her life was in the balance, which brought the Christians in the family to our knees in prayer. There were people all over the world praying for this little girl, whom they didn’t know personally. It was this that reminded me and encouraged me of Moses praying with his hands lifted to heaven, and when he tired, Aaron and Hur held up his hands. I truly felt the Lord supporting us through the prayers of His people.
She will be 10 years old this year! Praise the Lord for His mercy to her in answering the prayers of His people in accordance with His will.
In July 2020, my brother-in-law Gary (husband to Clive’s sister Angela), was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the age of 59. This was very sudden, and a complete shock to the family. He was so precious to us all. Witnessing their faith and trust during this time of severe trial was a marvel indeed. Seeing how the Lord sustained them and comforted them, especially during this time of Covid, when visiting and support was limited to immediate family. Gary went to be with the Lord in November 2021.
On January 7th 2021, mum rang to say she’d found my dad on the floor. An ambulance had been called for, and we were told he’d had a massive brain hemorrhage, and there was nothing they could do for him. They decided to move him to Bolton Hospice for palliative care. This was during Covid, and we were told only 2 of us could be his designated visitors. My younger sister kindly suggested mum and I be the two. Family was allowed to see him one time, literally to say their goodbyes. During the next two weeks mum and I were there reading Scripture and singing hymns to him – even though we didn’t know if he could take them on board, we knew they would speak to his soul. We also noticed during this time some slight improvement in his cognitive function, and requested he be moved to hospital to perhaps start some treatment. Again, we were informed only 2 designated visitors, so this time my sister and mum spent the last few days with dad.
It was so wonderful to me to see how the Lord moved events so that in His grace both my sister and I had some time with him. The memory of that time is so precious. And even in the midst of suffering, we could see the Lord’s hand at work. We found comfort in Psalm 139 – in verse 16 it says, “All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.” All the events of our life are in God’s hands.
We thank the Lord for these two men of faith, weak and frail as they were, but now in the arms of their Saviour Jesus.
A hymn that was a comfort and blessing to me at this time was “How firm a foundation ye saints of the Lord”. Verse 4 says, “When through the deep waters I cause you to go, the rivers of grief shall not you overflow, FOR I WILL BE WITH YOU, your troubles to bless, and sanctify to you, your deepest distress.”
There are no promises in this life for a smooth ride. We all go through trials, temptations, sicknesses and ultimately death. However, when you become a Christian, you join the sweet fellowship of the family of God, who love and support you through times of great difficulty.
Knowing the love of Jesus, having that personal relationship with Him, is so very precious. Do you know this love of Jesus for yourself?