Testimonies

During this time, a throw-away hurtful comment by a young man whilst I was dancing set me on a very destructive path. I developed anorexia (an eating disorder).  I thought I was in control; I thought I didn’t need food; my periods stopped; and I weighed less than 6 stone.  Little did I know at that time that it was controlling me.

Mum and dad invited me to their baptism.  I said I would go on condition dad dropped me off at a club after.  During that service, my dad was in tears as he spoke about how Jesus had saved him.  I was so embarrassed – I’d never seen my dad cry before. Then came the message, and I can honestly say I felt I was the only one in the room.  How did this man I’d never met before, know so much about me? What had my mum and dad been telling him?  That was, I truly believe, the first time Jesus’ death on the cross spoke to my heart.  God was showing me I needed Him.

I didn’t become a Christian then, but it was the start of a journey.  Over the next twelve months, I started to question what life was really all about; what was its purpose; why was I here?  I dug out the little New Testament and started to read it on my bus journey to work (hidden behind a magazine so no-one could see I was reading the Bible).  I started to notice the beauty of the morning sunrise and the beauty of creation around me.

I read right through to the last book in the New Testament, the book of Revelation, which talks about Jesus’ return and God’s judgement.  I came one day to Revelation 21:8, “But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and ALL LIARS – their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulphur, which is the second death.”

It suddenly hit me. I’d always thought of myself as a good, decent person, but I knew I’d told lies. Here the Bible was telling me that I was going to experience this second death in hell because of my sin.  It was then I realised I was a sinner before a holy God and needed saving from my sin.

So, on my way to work, walking through Bury town centre I asked Jesus to forgive my sin and to save me.  It was as if He was standing right by my side, taking hold of my hand and saying to me that I was His now, and He would never let me go.  Such assurance He gave me, one who knew so very little.

From that moment, everything changed.  I felt a joy I’d never experienced before, a sense of wonder at all around me, and a strong desire to share this good news with others.  I wanted to know more and had a hunger to learn about Jesus.  The hymn “And can it be?” describes this experience perfectly – verse 4 says, “Long my imprisoned spirit lay, fast bound in sin and nature’s night.  My eye diffused a quickening ray.  I woke, the dungeon flamed with light; my chains fell off; my heart was free; I rose, went forth and followed Thee.”  I started to attend church and was baptised, giving testimony to Jesus’ saving work in my life.

The Bible says in John 3v5-7 “Jesus answered, ‘I tell you the truth, no-one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit.  Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.  You should not be surprised at my saying “you must be born again.’”  This is what happened on that day, my spirit was made alive.  Becoming a Christian is personal. Jesus came into the world to save sinners, which includes every one of us.

For me, I can look back and see that God in His great love drew me to Himself, when I had no thoughts of Him.  He gently brought people and circumstances that all linked together in a chain of events, opened up my heart to my need of Him through His word and brought me to the foot of the cross to see Jesus dying in my place.  Maybe today, this is a link in a chain for you – may God be merciful to your soul.

My Life As A Christian

That was 40 years ago and much has happened in my life since then.  I have picked some significant events to share with you and hopefully encourage your hearts to trust God.

Once you become a Christian, life doesn’t suddenly become a bed of roses. That has never been promised us in the Bible.  As a Christian, sin still is within us, and around us.  However, the Lord has promised that He will be with us, that He will never leave us or forsake us, and He will be our comfort and strength in difficult times.

My anorexia didn’t go away overnight.  It took time, and the Lord graciously showed me through my mum.  She said to me one day, “Lesley, you are telling everyone at work how they need Jesus, but you are slowly killing yourself in front of them.  What kind of testimony is that to them?”  I realised at that moment that my words and my life ought to be as one.  So, I asked the Lord to help me, and a week later I was eating again – and since then, I haven’t looked back.

I very much wanted to tell people of the way Jesus had saved me and how much they, like me needed saving too.  A missionary from New Tribes Mission came to church and spoke about unreached peoples.  This truly inspired my young soul, and in 1988 I gave over work and started Bible School in Matlock, went to America to Boot Camp and continued on to Language School.  Even though I didn’t go to the mission field, I learned a lot of foundational truths through that time.  The Lord also graciously provided for me.  I had no guaranteed means of income during that time, and yet I finished the course debt free.  At one point, I’d received no money for two weeks and yet each day during that time I was invited out for a meal.  It was wonderful to see the Lord’s providing hand.  Yet the Lord had another plan for my life.

In 1993 I met Clive, and we married in 1996.  We’ve had a wonderful marriage and have many happy times together.  We have 2 precious sons from Clive’s previous marriage, 2 beautiful daughters-in-law, and 5 wonderful grandchildren.  The Lord has really blessed us.  But also, as a couple, we have been through many trials.

My health has suffered over the years, with blood clots, and undiagnosed endometriosis that led to many operations and procedures, and eventually to a twisted ovary in 1997.  Clive says he could write a traveler’s guide to hospital restaurants through the many hospitals I have been in over the years.

Oliver (our pastor) visited me in hospital during that time and left a verse with Clive and I that has been so significant to us and has carried us through many trying times.  Psalm 20v7, “Some trust in chariots, and some in horses, but we trust in the Name of the Lord our God”.  This was so helpful when, on Christmas Day 2010, I was admitted to hospital with a twisted bowel. I had to be resuscitated and undergo a major operation, which resulted in a temporary ileostomy for 12 months.  The surgeon said to me that God must still have a work for me to do, as it was so serious he didn’t know how I had survived.

Our trust was in the Lord for His outcome, but He also graciously provided a wonderful team of doctors and nurses whose skill and care were greatly appreciated.

In the year 2000, as a family, we experienced a very tragic incident.  Clive’s (and his sister Angela’s) cousin was murdered.  We got a call in the middle of the night from Clive’s auntie.  Then there was the trial to go through, and a very difficult court case.  Through that time, I witnessed the Lord’s great grace in that situation.  The policeman who broke the news to Clive’s auntie was a Christian and was able to pray with her.  During the murder trial, I saw the strength the Lord gave her to testify in court, when she felt she’d no strength of her own.  Ultimately, I saw the Lord over time change any bitterness and anger towards the perpetrator, to a forgiveness and peace that could only have come from Him.  It was a very humbling experience that left a lasting impression, how the Lord can sustain us through the most difficult times, and how through His grace and forgiveness He can change our hearts.

In 2015 my little great-niece was diagnosed with leukemia at 9 months old.  She spent 2 years in hospital with endless rounds of chemotherapy and 2 bone marrow transplants.  During this time, the Lord was showing me the importance of prayer, both as an individual, but also as the wider Christian community.  God doesn’t promise to answer our prayers as we want, but there is a source of strength and comfort that can be obtained through speaking to our Heavenly Father.  Many times, her life was in the balance, which brought the Christians in the family to our knees in prayer.  There were people all over the world praying for this little girl, whom they didn’t know personally.  It was this that reminded me and encouraged me of Moses praying with his hands lifted to heaven, and when he tired, Aaron and Hur held up his hands.  I truly felt the Lord supporting us through the prayers of His people.

She will be 10 years old this year! Praise the Lord for His mercy to her in answering the prayers of His people in accordance with His will.

In July 2020, my brother-in-law Gary (husband to Clive’s sister Angela), was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the age of 59.  This was very sudden, and a complete shock to the family.  He was so precious to us all.  Witnessing their faith and trust during this time of severe trial was a marvel indeed.  Seeing how the Lord sustained them and comforted them, especially during this time of Covid, when visiting and support was limited to immediate family.  Gary went to be with the Lord in November 2021.

On January 7^th 2021, mum rang to say she’d found my dad on the floor.  An ambulance had been called for, and we were told he’d had a massive brain hemorrhage, and there was nothing they could do for him.  They decided to move him to Bolton Hospice for palliative care.  This was during Covid, and we were told only 2 of us could be his designated visitors.  My younger sister kindly suggested mum and I be the two.  Family was allowed to see him one time, literally to say their goodbyes.  During the next two weeks mum and I were there reading Scripture and singing hymns to him – even though we didn’t know if he could take them on board, we knew they would speak to his soul.  We also noticed during this time some slight improvement in his cognitive function, and requested he be moved to hospital to perhaps start some treatment.  Again, we were informed only 2 designated visitors, so this time my sister and mum spent the last few days with dad.

It was so wonderful to me to see how the Lord moved events so that in His grace both my sister and I had some time with him.  The memory of that time is so precious.  And even in the midst of suffering, we could see the Lord’s hand at work.  We found comfort in Psalm 139 – in verse 16 it says, “All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.”  All the events of our life are in God’s hands.

We thank the Lord for these two men of faith, weak and frail as they were, but now in the arms of their Saviour Jesus.

A hymn that was a comfort and blessing to me at this time was “How firm a foundation ye saints of the Lord”.  Verse 4 says, “When through the deep waters I cause you to go, the rivers of grief shall not you overflow, FOR I WILL BE WITH YOU, your troubles to bless, and sanctify to you, your deepest distress.”

There are no promises in this life for a smooth ride.  We all go through trials, temptations, sicknesses and ultimately death.  However, when you become a Christian, you join the sweet fellowship of the family of God, who love and support you through times of great difficulty.

Knowing the love of Jesus, having that personal relationship with Him, is so very precious. Do you know this love of Jesus for yourself?

The one thing that I never imagined nor understood prior to reading God’s revelation of Himself is that He is holy. A man called Isaiah after having an encounter with God said  “Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for my eyes have seen the King, The Lord of Hosts.”. I also read of a man called Peter, one of the disciples of Jesus Christ, and he said to Jesus “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord”. I discovered that God is holy – He is pure, righteous and good. He is other than us, and in Him there is no darkness at all. I asked myself; if God is like this, if in Him is no sin at all, and I am nothing like Him, then how can I be right with Him?

I started to examine myself and I was forced to admit that I was conformed to the likeness of this world. I realised that I spoke like the world, I dressed like the world, I thought like the world and I acted like the world. I was a slave to everything that God hates. I was forced to see that I do not meet God’s standard of goodness and I wanted to flee from Him. And it is then when I started to fear Him. And can I tell you that I was filled with terror. I was certain that if I died now I would be in Hell. It was now that the Gospel was of interest to me.

It was this fear that drew me to Christ. Jesus is the eternal Son of God who manifests His great love to us by condescending Himself in His incarnation and enters this world.  He lived a life of perfect obedience and bled on the Cross to save sinners. He is the way to know God, the perfect manifestation of the God of eternity, very God of very God, perfect in love, power and purity. God, by His Spirit, ensured me that if I turn away from my sins and look unto Christ, my sins are forgiven. And where did I find Christ? I found Christ on the Cross. It was on the Cross where Jesus died to satisfy God’s wrath towards sin and unites us to God. On the Cross, God established perfect justice in the salvation of His people and manifests His love for us. Christ also reveals Himself as a Friend and a Shepherd to those who follow Him. I marvelled at these things. But as I started to grasp these things, Satan tried everything he could to keep me in Hell. So often he made me doubt the mercy and love of God. So often he reminded me of my sins and made me doubt my faith. But by the grace of God, I pressed on towards the Celestial City. God spoke special comfort to me in the book of Isaiah where He says: “I bruised reed He will not break and a smouldering wick He will not snuff out”. This is the greatest promise of God revealed to mankind on the Cross; anyone who believes in Him will be saved. And I believed, I cried out to Him and He has received me.

After these things I grew in my conviction that I must turn away from my old ways and live in ways that honour God. Overtime I began to really consider my ways and to depart from many ways that the world and sad to say much of the church today considers acceptable. I left the ways that God calls worldliness and vanity and I continue to do so today. Now I wanted to be holy, because God is holy. It was clear to me that allegiance to God means separation from this world and its ways. Christianity that costs you nothing is not the message of Jesus. As I grew in my understanding of the Scriptures I also grew in my desire to live a life of obedience to God. I started to go to the Scriptures to examine my ways and choices – seeking out His will for all things.

I can testify that over these last couple of years, God has been good to me. I cannot tell you that it has been an easy road and I wish I could tell you that my life has been filled with peace and joy since God saved me. But God has been faithful to me and has not forsaken me and will never forsake me. The more I see of God the more I come to face my shortcomings. There is still much pride and idolatry in me, my affections towards God are often weak and I am prone to exalt myself. But I can say this: that I hate that sin in me and I will praise God for His forgiveness all the more.

God used the patience and work of faithful Beach Mission leaders who would continue to sit with me and answer my questions. A few years later, after conversations with Beach Mission leaders, I began to realise that I knew about God, but didn’t really know him. I was desperate and lost at this point.  I didn’t own a Bible and my parents didn’t allow me to go to church, so I lived life without having anyone to to steer me onto the right path. I was left undiscipled. No one was there to show me when I drifted (which I often did!) or from God’s word, to show me the right way to live.

Eventually, I ‘rebelled’ against my parents’ wishes and walked to a nearby church each week, and I discovered that there was a Christian Union in my school, so I attended that also, as well as the weekend residential that they ran, and summer camps with my Beach Mission friends. It was during this time that I came to know the risen Jesus as my Lord and Saviour.

God opened my eyes to the gospel. He revealed himself to me. I became convicted of my sin and came to a true realisation of who he is. I had come to realise that God wasn’t a distant being who created the world and left us to it, but an ever-present Father who loves me and sent his son to die on the cross, to save me from eternal misery and into eternal communion with him. I now strive, joyfully, to live my life in his service, to his glory.

1 Peter 1:3-5 says: ‘Blessed be the God and Father or our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.’

It is in this hope that I now live free of fear, and I am so thankful that God has worked in my life to bring me into the knowledge of the salvation that Jesus Christ has bought for me.

I came to see that a joy of the Christian life is in knowing that even faith in Christ is a work of God’s abundant grace. We do not come to him out of our own wisdom. We come because he opened our eyes to see the severity of our sin and the beauty of Jesus. This was certainly the case for me. Although I had heard of Jesus so many times, God opened my eyes to see what it truly means to know and love him. I would later come to see that the God I have sinned against is not like me. He is perfect in holiness; he is pure, just, and he is immeasurably gracious toward guilty sinners.

All this would unfold more when I later moved to the U.K. as a child. At this point, I was still under a ‘word-of-faith’ system. I believed that Jesus died on the cross to save sinners like me, I believed that if I turned from my sin and looked to him, I would find forgiveness and be reconciled with God. But I misunderstood the implications of the gospel.

I came across several pastors and teachers online, with whom I had no connection. It was a work of God’s kindness. They spoke much of the God who is holy. They submitted themselves under the authority of God’s word. And my sinful flesh recoiled. My response to the holiness of God was not to bow in worship, but to kick against what seemed new to me at the time.

I spent many hours watching and listening to them, then I would gather at a church under a ‘word-of-faith’ system. I wanted my happiness and comfort to be the centre of my Christian life. I wanted to be assured that I could continue to persist with my idols. But I was continually challenged by Scripture. Persistently, they placed God, as he has revealed himself in Scripture, before me. None of them know me, but God used their handling of Scripture profoundly to transform my view of God and my view of myself. I would later read a little book called The Holiness of God, by R.C. Sproul. I’d consider reading this book a transformative moment in my Christian life. It became a catalyst that God used to spark a deeper longing, a desire to know Him as he truly is, and a deep and abiding love for His Church.

I came to truly delight in God’s grace. To see that the joy of the Christian life is God himself. I came to know what it means to say with Paul, ‘I count all things as loss for the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus as lord.’ And what a delight that is! This was all a work of God’s grace. He is the one who changes hearts by His Spirit. He is the one who adopts guilty sinners and calls them His own. And by His grace, He called me to himself, even though I am deeply underserving and deeply unworthy. Truly, ‘The Lord is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works’ (Ps. 145:17).

It wasn’t until a few years later that I first started to come across Christian preaching. I have received leaflets on the streets on a few occasions and seemingly by chance I was finding online sermons when I was browsing the internet and so I started to hear things which I never knew were part of the Christian faith. Mostly about Jesus’s second coming and how he would judge the world and establish his kingdom here on Earth. I was really intrigued by the idea that there could be ultimate justice in the world and so I decided to get a Bible and read it for myself. I started with the book of Revelation to better understand what was being preached to me and although I didn’t understand most of its meaning and symbolism, I was nonetheless fascinated by the fact that something like this was in the Bible. After that I started to read the Gospels as I wanted to know about the life of Jesus. This was a big turning point for me as this is when I first truly understood why Christ came and died on the cross for our sins and why this was necessary to redeem us. This is the first time I believed that the God in the bible is good, and I realised that I am also a sinner in God’s eyes.

Although I was really impacted by what I read it was difficult for me to fully accept it as the true word of God. I was unwilling to believe something that I couldn’t fully comprehend, and I didn’t want to commit to something that I wasn’t sure was really the truth. Although with time the guilt of my sin became too much to bear, and I became convinced that I needed Christ in my life and that he was my only hope for salvation. This is when I prayed and placed all my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and pledged to follow him for the rest of my life. From that moment my life changed, and I felt peace like I never felt it before and most of my worry about worldly things has vanished since I know that God is in control, and I am now one of his servants. To this day I struggle with some of my sins. I have fallen many times since I was saved by the grace of God, but he has never abandoned me, and I know that he will be with me until the very end.

I attended many youth weekends away with the church and always felt encouraged and motivated to read my bible more and understand God. As many new Christians do, I started by reading Genesis but a few chapters in I felt entirely puzzled and confused. I constantly had doubts about whether God was real and ignorantly saw life as so much easier without God and as a dyslexic I didn’t really want to be reading anything, let alone the bible.

I also remember frequently putting God to the test. If you are real ‘move that cloud’ or ‘do this for me’. Looking back I now know how wicked and foolish this was. Of course, an all-powerful, all-knowing God is capable of absolutely anything but there is not one sign or miracle that would have been enough to make me believe. I lacked understanding and faith.

If he had moved that cloud at the exact time that I had asked I would have only put it down to chance and carried on my day. We see this time and time again in the bible too. The very son of God was stood before the people’s eyes healing individuals and performing miracles and it was still not enough to make them believe. As it is written in 2 Corinthians 5:7

‘For we walk by faith, not by sight’.

Not only do we have the entire written word of God, but we have the very world he created as evidence and proof of his existence. As some of you may know I am a medical student which means that I have unfortunately or fortunately (depending on the time in the academic year it is) signed up to a lifetime of studying the intricacies of the human body. Every day I am blown away by the how complex the human body is. Many of my colleagues and even my siblings have asked me how can your Dad be a scientist, doctor and a Christian, surely they are incompatible? My answer to them is absolutely not! Studying the human body is studying what God has so perfectly created. How can we take the credit for understanding a complex physiological process for example when we have merely discovered it and even then, there remains so many gaps and poorly understood areas. This is clearly God’s infinite intelligence and not our own.

So returning back to how I became a Christian; As teenager I started to prioritise my exams and my grades to the point where I believed I didn’t have the time to go to church or read my bible. Every day for many years I lived my life as I pleased and whilst I would have claimed to be a Christian the truth is I really had no idea what that meant. Very strangely, I wanted to be a Christian but wrestled with my sin and lack of faith. I saw the peace, understanding and wisdom that my parents had, and I knew that it was a peace which couldn’t be obtained from the world. Moreover, the love they had for one another, and their neighbours was a love that I one day wanted to be able to give also.

I began attending a church again when I was at university in London training to be a nurse. A friend of mine posted about church on social media and I remember thinking this was my opportunity to find a church to attend and time to maybe ‘sort my life out’. Despite growing up in a Christian home I was really shocked how little I understood. What is sin I asked and who is Jesus? It wasn’t until I understood these questions that everything else made sense. I REALLY am a sinner! Yes me. Not just those who broke the law, committed murder or were unkind people. No in fact we are all sinners. If you too struggle to believe this, imagine having every wicked thought, action and lie you have ever told or done exposed to someone. What a sickening thought that is. This is what an all-knowing God knows about us, and we deserve punishment for it.

As we have been learning from Oliver we know that God is simple, PURE and perfect in every way. God is love and therefore he cannot be unloving. Out of his pure love he has a righteous anger, and his will is for perfect justice. Truly loving parents wouldn’t let their children be naughty without punishing and correcting them. Likewise, God cannot be passive to sin.

So who is Jesus? Well Jesus is the son of God who came to earth as a mere baby. He was fully man and fully God and he was sent BY God as a master plan for our salvation and to make a way for us to be right with God despite all our sin. Jesus walked upon the earth and experienced all the difficulties of this world, yet he knew no sin. He then was brutally murdered upon a cross by those who hated him. Jesus bore ALL of God’s wrath upon himself. He was the propitiation, meaning he stood in the place of all our sins so that I might be justified. Justified meaning just as If I’d never sinned.

So after understanding and believing these simple but breath-taking truths at the age of 19, I surrendered all and gave my life to Jesus. Because of Jesus’s death and resurrection, I have a living saviour and the holy spirit as my helper who is working in me to cleanse and sanctify me daily. By God’s grace and goodness, I have been given a new heart and set free from my sin.

I have now been a Christian for 5 years but for various reasons my baptism dates were cancelled or moved. I know now the plans God had in store for me and I am so thankful for this opportunity to give my testimony in this church today in front of both my parents and husband who have had a pivotal role in where I am today. I have also been so privileged to spend many wonderful hours working through the Christian basics course with Rob and I am so thankful for all his prayers, wisdom and friendship during this time.

I would like to finish by thanking Matthew, my husband and everyone here at Trinity Grace Church. When Matthew and I first met over 2 years ago I was attending a church very different to the one we are in today. Even on our first date Matthew spent nearly two hours questioning me on my faith, my church and what I believed. The Lord knew my want for a husband but provided me with so much more than that. Matthew has encouraged and strengthened me in my faith and led me to this wonderful church. Words cannot express how thankful I am for the wisdom and love of the ministers, elders and congregation here at TGC. You are all faith-filled and God fearing individuals who really care for their members and I am thrilled to be a part of the church. God willing, I hope to have many years serving the Lord and fellowshipping with you. Thank you.

Over the next few months, I began attending church, thinking I should try cleaning up my life a bit more. However, I was merely using Christ as a means to an end. Yet, I still remember a growing spiritual hunger during this time, but I didn’t know what for. The following year I attended a series of meetings that proved to be monumental in setting my feet toward the cross of Christ. I had never heard preaching as I had at these meetings and recalled inwardly trembling on my way to the meetings. It seemed that the preacher knew God personally and not merely about God. I remember becoming jealous to know the God he knew. This desire staggered me because I already thought I knew God. But I could not deny that the God I knew was lifeless and his God was living. 

These convictions led me to seek out this preacher. He advised me to meditate on Isaiah 66:1-2. Verse 2 says, “This is the one to whom I will look he who is humble and contrite and trembles at My Word.” I clung to these words as they revealed to me something of my condition. I eventually left University and began living with friends and began to devour the Scriptures. I would lock myself away and spend hours reading and crying out to God. I felt like a man looking at a shadowy world at dawn. I could see something, but much was unclear.

The following summer, I moved to West Memphis, Arkansas and received some more advice that God would remind me of months later. I was a seeker after God but had not rested in Christ. I began to learn about the doctrines of grace, but Christ was not All in all. So a wise minister encouraged me to worship Christ and not merely the doctrines of Christ. At these words, dormant pride welled up in me. I hated to hear it but knew it was true. I strove to prove my innocence but could not. He was right. By the following autumn, I recognised God was stripping me of everything I held dear. My church, my friends, my little knowledge of truth all proved insufficient to give me rest with God. I was almost entirely alone, except for a godly elderly couple who gave me a job working at their bookshop. The conversations with these Christians were priceless. They were so gentle with me and continued pointing me to Christ.

A few months later, I moved to New Albany, Mississippi, to attend a church faithfully preaching the Bible. The first couple of months were overwhelming. However, a few months after moving, the Lord continued to expose more of my hellish pride. I began attending a men’s meeting at the church. They were reading through a book called The Glory of Christ by a 300-year-old dead guy, and it was during one of these meetings that God brought me to an end of myself. A godly Welsh preacher once said that conversion is like crossing a chasm. It doesn’t mean that it is the end of the journey, but only the beginning. It was during this meeting I was converted.

One of the men attending began speaking about Christ in such a way that led me to say in the secret of my heart, “Enough about Christ already.” God arrested me on the spot. “What was I saying?! It is all about Christ! Worship Christ, not merely the doctrines of Christ!” I realised I must have Christ as my ALL in ALL because He IS All in All! So, it was as God in Christ flooded my soul. At the mention of Christ’s name, my soul was delivered, and I rested simply, fully and happily in Christ alone. I praise God that for eternity I have the privilege of saying that it was at the mention of my Saviours name that my soul found rest in the Beloved. A saving knowledge of Christ is a joy unspeakable and full of glory.

I hope this does some justice in explaining how God has so dealt with me. I look forward to the day when all Christ’s people together will stand in the presence of the King of kings and forever praise His name. I am eternally grateful that God saw fit to draw me to Himself.

Like the prodigal, I went to the far off land & squandered my Father’s many blessings. I walked away; He remained unmoved, steadfast & determined that His word would not return to Him void. I have no doubt that the prayers of my parents followed me into the many dark places and seasons I walked during that decade.

There were moments of very real spiritual awareness, and times where specific verses and hymns would come to my mind, out of the blue!

At 25, I had already begun the long journey back from that ‘far off land’ but on the 10th October 2009, my Father ran to meet me.  I saw clearly that I could no longer play around with God, He was a God to be reckoned with & that I either had to lay down my life before Him now, or I would not get the chance again. It became a very urgent matter to me & I began to cry out for grace.

God met me in the passage of John 4, in the same way that He sought out the woman of Samaria, He came and sought me out & told me everything I ever did and revealed Himself to me as the Christ. My Christ. I was (& am still!) overwhelmed by His grace & patience. He has been a faithful guide throughout my years following Him & is restoring all the locust-eaten years.

Words come to my mind as I write this…

‘What can I give to the man who gave everything,

Humbling Himself before all He had made?

Dare I withhold my own life from

His sovereignty?

I will give all for the sake of His name.’

In Him who loves us

Rachel

I was a very young 22 year old, and didn’t know how to handle what had happened to me. The stress of having to face working in that environment day after day, and the continuing nightmares, gradually took its toll and eventually after about 6 months I quit, with no job to go to.  But it had been a real wake-up call for me. What if I had died?  What then?

Towards the end of those six months I began to attend church again and found what I knew I had been missing those 2 long years, a relationship with the living God. Within 2 weeks of quitting my old job I had a new one at a well-known sports centre in South London and working alongside me God had placed a lovely young Christian woman.  I realised that it was all of God. He had kept me safe through all those months and He had drawn me back to Him.

When I was 26, I met and married a young man, whom I had met whilst we were both serving on a Beach Mission team in the Isle of Wight.  After three years we were blessed with a daughter (Rebecca). Just after my daughter’s first birthday, we were going through a very difficult time in our marriage, probably the start of future problems, when my mother died suddenly from a heart attack. But my walk with God did not falter this time – He was now my rock.

Nine years later, when my son was 7 years old and my daughter only 10, my husband left me, again, for another woman.  That first night (and for many, many nights after) I felt as though my whole world was crashing around me.  And yet, despite all my tears and in the middle of all that chaos I felt an odd sense of peace – the peace that passes all understanding.  It is a difficult thing to describe to someone who has never experienced it.  But I knew that no matter what happened next, my God was with me in the storm and that He loved me and would never leave me, even if everyone else did.

That is not to say things were easy – it was not. It has been a hard and difficult road to walk in the years that followed, but God was faithful and surrounded me with people who loved and cared for me.  And God was working on me too! I can honestly say I have forgiven my ex-husband and his partner. I feel no bitterness towards either of them.

Two years ago, due to the agreed divorce settlement I had to sell my home of 25 years. Unable to afford to stay where I was, I moved from my home in Reigate up to Ramsbottom, to be near family.  Again, it has been a difficult road for me, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Leaving everything I had ever known and in particular, my dear church family, who had seen me through all the good times and the difficult times. That combined with a Pandemic made adjustments tricky. But God is good and kind and gracious and has led me to a loving fellowship here at Trinity Grace, and they have been very patient with me.

Life is an ever-changing journey, but I have learnt that through all the ups and downs, the sunshine and the rain that God is faithful and loving, and each day brings me one step nearer home.

One evening I received a phone call telling me of some tragic and very upsetting news.  The news was that an eighteen-year-old girl I knew had gone home that afternoon to find that her mum had taken her own life – her mum had hung herself.  This was a direct result of sin as her mum had found out that her husband had been having an affair and she just could not cope.  It really is no wonder that God hates sin; it often has damaging consequences for ourselves and others and our sin certainly offends God.

Although I was not directly affected by this tragic news, it impacted me in a way I never expected.  I was consumed with worry for this young girl and the huge emotional and practical issues she faced.  All I wanted to do was to help her but there was little I could do.  It was difficult to watch the impact of her loss, suffering and mental anguish. Even though I could do nothing to alleviate her pain, my worry for her persisted.  I carried her around with me in my heart for several years wondering how she was coping.

During this time I found myself wanting to be closer to something safe and secure; for me this meant being closer to God.  I found myself pleading with God in prayer to help this girl and her father too – his guilt must have been crushing him. At the same time, God opened my eyes to the consequences of sin and indeed MY OWN SIN!!  It is amazing how we make excuses to justify our behaviour even though our God given consciences tell us what we are doing is wrong.  I knew my sins were wrong and yet I continued in them despite the consequences for anyone else. I was arrogant, proud, impatient, thoughtless, and selfish and I have done things of which I am truly ashamed.  Clearly, I needed to repent of my sins genuinely and honestly to the Lord and turn away from them to gain His free and loving forgiveness.

In October 2009, I married my second husband Peter, and we went to Florida on honeymoon – I was still worrying about this young girl. During our holiday we had a day out and stopped at a restaurant/gift shop for some lunch and as we walked to the entrance, I noticed a large plaque in the window which said, “Be still and know that I am God”.  I now know this to be from Psalm 46:10. This plaque really jumped out at me and I felt the Lord telling me that I do not need to worry as He is in sovereign control of all things.  I did stop worrying and left everything in God’s hands and now I pray that the Lord will show his mercy and loving-kindness to her and that she will come to know our gracious saviour. Throughout this time I felt significant change within myself.  The Holy Spirit was working in my heart pointing me to God and the Lord Jesus.  Ezekiel 36:26 says, “And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart”.

I found myself wanting to know more about God and to be closer to Him.  I wanted a bible, so Peter bought me one for Christmas that year.  I started to read it alongside other Christian resources to increase my knowledge and understanding. I now felt a real sense of urgency to respond to God, being deeply concerned that I might not get another chance.  To put it bluntly, I was dead in my sins.  Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord”.

I also had a real yearning to go back to church, but which one should I go to?  I dithered around for some considerable time and prayed to God for months if not years about this.  Then, in April 2014, my mum told me that the church had invited the family to attend a presentation for my dad as he was retiring from the church eldership.  My heart sang and I grabbed the opportunity with both hands.  This was no coincidence but a God-incidence and a remarkable answer to prayer. From then on, I started attending church regularly and went on to do the “Exploring Christianity” and “Christian Basics” courses which led to my baptism in May 2015.  I am glad I waited on the Lord as He sent me to a church that is faithful to God’s word in its preaching and teaching – I feel spiritually safe here.

The omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent God, the creator of the universe, has bestowed His wonderful grace on me; He loves me so much that He shows such kindness and mercy to me.  I certainly do not deserve it and there is nothing that I could do to earn it – I am saved by the grace of God.  Ephesians 2:8-10 says, “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast”.  By His grace, I am saved from my sins through the sacrificial work of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I used to dislike the hymn “Amazing Grace” because I thought the music was really dreary – it certainly wasn’t the dance music I enjoyed at the time!!  But now I love it for the words, “Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me, I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see”. God’s love is so great that He sent His son, the Lord Jesus Christ, as my saviour.  He was falsely accused, scourged, mocked, spat at, and beaten.  His beard was plucked out and a crown of thorns pushed into His head.  He was nailed to a cross and crucified.  He suffered excruciating pain and brutality and, worst of all, He became sin and took the full wrath of God for all my guilt and shame for sins past, present and future – the punishment should be mine!!

At His resurrection, the Lord Jesus Christ defeated sin and death. Psalm 103:12 says, “He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west”.  My salvation has been purchased at a very great cost, the precious blood of the Lord Jesus who is the sinless, spotless Lamb of God. Who am I with all my failings and frailties?  The Lord is my Rock and I thank Him for loving me.  Nothing the world has to offer is worth more than my inheritance of eternal life with the Lord.  I want to serve the Lord and His people in whatever way I can and strive each day to grow in the grace, knowledge, and character of the Lord Jesus.

All praise and glory to God.

In 2013 I met my beautiful wife Luisa in church and in 2014 we got married. In February 2018 Luisa and I moved to Aruba, a small island in the Caribbean just above Venezuela. Luisa had just graduated from University as a structural engineer and we were there to stay and work for her father’s construction company. But the Lord had another plan. After nearly one year in Aruba, our son Abraham was born on 24 January 2019. Due to birth complications and the lack of appropriate medical coverage, Abraham was born in Bucaramanga (city in the north of Colombia). It was the toughest period of our lives. Luisa’s parents came over to Bucaramanga and as Christians we wanted to go to church. Now, over the past months before Abraham’s birth, the Lord had already been revealing to me to go back to Scripture and trust on His Word alone. So I knew I had to find a reformed church in Bucaramanga and found Iglesia Bautista Reformada de Bucaramanga. I contacted them and the next Sunday we went there. What followed was an amazing display of the Lord’s grace. God truly revealed sane Biblical doctrine, I had become a confessing evangelical (or reformed Baptist) and now completely endorse the 1689 London Baptist Confession of Faith. It goes without saying that everyone, without exception, is a sinner and we bear the consequences of sin. One of the differences between a Christian and a non-believer is how one perceives things in life. If you are reading this and are not a follower of Christ, you might perceive this slightly offensive but I learned that whatever happens, it is for the best because it is God’s will what matters. During the tough, uncertain times of Abraham’s birth (and the period after), we proclaimed that whatever would happen, we would endure the pain in the flesh yet rejoice in spirit. And what an example of the mysterious, marvelous work of God. The Lord took this birth defect of Abraham and turned it into a great blessing for many. Let me explain. Due to Abraham’s situation, we went to Colombia where the Word was revealed to us. Here we got in touch with the reformed Baptist congregation of Colombia and established relationships there. Luisa’s father is now building a reformed Baptist church in Aruba with the help from Colombia through which many believers are blessed. Only the Lord knows what many more blessings might come forth from this. We moved back to The Netherlands since Abraham needed certain medical attention on a continuous basis. Abraham is doing well now, he is a joyful boy for which we are exceptionally grateful to God. We have been in The Netherlands for nearly a year but the Lord led us to Manchester. Earlier I completed my master’s degree in law in Manchester. There are several reasons for moving to Manchester but obviously the most important one was to find a good congregation where we could grow and serve the Lord. We did not succeed to find a reformed Baptist church within acceptable reach from our home in The Netherlands. I started out reading the Trinity Grace Church (TGC) website and, whilst residing in The Netherlands, we watched the sermons online. TGC actively supports missionaries and maintains good ties with IRBS (reformed Baptist seminary in the US). TGC is also located close to Manchester and has adopted the 1689 London Baptist Confession. This altogether was decisive for me to join TGC and it suddenly has become the center of our lives. We found an apartment close to church and moved to Bury instead. To follow Christ was not an emotional decision. It was not even my call at all. The Lord is self-existent, transcendent, immutable, immense and does not depend on anyone than Himself. We however completely depend on Him, whether we fully embrace the truth of Scripture or not. The fact that we have a choice to deny God’s holy standard does not mean we will not face the reality of His holy standard – we will all face judgment one day. I thank you for taking the time to read my testimony and encourage you to follow Christ wherever you are. It is the highest privilege to know the Lord and have a personal relationship with Him.

I then began to clean up my life and stopped doing the things that I knew were sinful before God. I started going to a Christian church, reading the Bible, praying, evangelising and doing a lot of good things. I somehow thought that if I did all of these things that I would have peace with God but the whole time I was trying to be a good person without Jesus Christ. I was trusting in my works to be saved and not in Jesus Christ alone.

It wasn’t until August 2009 that I joined another church where the good news was preached that the Lord began to work in my heart. I finally started to understand that Jesus Christ was my only hope! He lived the perfect life, He suffered and died upon the cross in my place and bore the punishment that I deserved. All my sins, guilt and shame has been laid upon Him and His righteousness has been given to me. It was realising this that made me turn away from my sins and truly follow Christ.

What a blessing it is to know my sins are forgiven through Jesus Christ and that I can have a relationship with God! I am forever amazed that God would send His only beloved Son for an undeserving sinner like me…

1 Timothy 1:15 – This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.

As the years went by I tried various other things to find some peace in my life, I became a vegan and tried to be more spiritual even visiting a Buddhist centre to learn to meditate. None of this could take away my sin and shame or give me peace. Looking back now I realise I was just suppressing the truth in unrighteousness but thanks be to God he intervened for me.

In 2017 I started to visit a Christian church local to where I was living and I remember people telling me how they were born again and how the Lord Jesus Christ had saved them from their sin. I knew this was what I needed, I needed to be saved, I needed a redeemer. After a few weeks of visiting the church I was still in the mindset of surely there is something I have to do to be saved. But the Lord revealed to me there is nothing I could do because He had done it all. I remember distinctly during one of the Lord’s day services singing a hymn by a man named Horatio Spafford called “It is well with my soul”. The 3^rd verse says:

My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought

My sin, not in part, but the whole

Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my Soul!

The Lord saved me and I knew that all of my sin was paid for by the Lord Jesus Christ on the cross. To know that God saves sinners like me fills my heart and soul with joy.

The truth is we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God and it is only through His son, the Lord Jesus Christ that we can come to the Father by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Hebrews 10:19-22, Therefore brethren, having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus by a new and living way which He consecrated for us, through the veil, that is, His flesh, and having a High Priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.

Revelation 1:5-6, To Him who loved us and washed us from our sins in His own blood, and has made us kings and priests to His God and Father, to Him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Praise the Lord, O my Soul!

Many years later, I found myself changing city in search of work. There was a period when I failed to trust God. I remember getting mixed up with the wrong church movements i.e., those pushing the “prosperity-type gospel”. I got carried with this for some time, and initially thought they are Christians. My fellowship with these hurt me in so many ways: causing me to doubt and despair of Christianity itself.  The prosperity-gospel church movement is strewn in self-seeking, man’s glory, sugar-coated teaching, manipulation and deceit. The results are hypocrisies, false profession, and lukewarmness. But the Lord remained faithful. He did not stop correcting, chastising, warning me about these errors and reminding me about Christ. I had so many troubles and I lost so much because of the backsliding. I could not continue this way anymore, and the guilt of straying away from God who so loved me was so unbearable. I was tired of nagging and guilty conscience and sought the Lord in repentance from these hypocrisies and backsliding. God enabled me to see the end of prosperity-type gospel, end of self-seeking and backsliding. I don’t want any more of these. All I want is Christ Jesus my Lord and Saviour. To rest in Him and trust in Him and by Him totally surrendered to God. By grace, God restored me and I started enjoying fellowship with Him. And I sought to be in fellowship with a true Christian church, where I would be nurtured by the precious word of God and the faith of Christ. I found and joined one in 2013 and continued to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord. I am trusting and resting in the Lord, and knowing that God is sovereign over all, and to depend on Him alone. Truly, the only way to be happy in God is to trust and obey Him. God is faithful and He continues to conform me to the image of His Son. I want to live the all of my life knowing and serving the Lord Jesus Christ my Saviour by the power of the Holy Spirit and the word of God.

During one of the meetings during the summer of 2008 when I was 14, God spoke to me and convicted me of my sin. It was so clear that I was in a state of sin and on the road to hell. I knew this to be true from the years of faithful teaching I had been given at my church but up until that point I had refused to listen before the Holy Spirit melted my heart of stone. I can remember walking out of the meeting building and praying to God and asking for forgiveness for all the sins I had committed and that I wanted to live my life for Jesus. The first thing I did was to call my mum and dad in tears telling them I had become a Christian.  To begin with everything was going well, but once I was back to school my desire to please God began to diminish rapidly. I ended up going week by week to church half listening and then back to ‘normal life’ during the week. Each summer I would return to Capernwray and have the fire lit once again and think to myself, this year is going to be different. I am really going to try my best. But this was my biggest mistake, I was trying to do it myself and not surrender fully to God and let him be Lord of my life. After I finished college I went off to study at University and this was the start of a big decline in my walk with the Lord. I studied for a total of 4 years which seemed to go so quickly and besides the odd trip home where I would go to church with my family, I was living my life to please myself. At the end of 2016, I finished University I managed to get a job at a sports technology company that I still work for today. Sadly, my job became my number one priority in my life, and it was all I ever was thinking about. Into my second year of work, I moved to Cheltenham and just before I went my mum suggested I book to go to Capernwray the following summer and I did but more to keep her happy than anything else. My main priority was my job and to understand how obsessed I was I can remember that in the early part of 2018 I worked for 4 straight weeks including evenings and weekends. I was addicted. After the novelty of living in Cheltenham quickly went away, I began to realise how unhappy I was. Then as the summer of 2018 came around 2 things happened. Firstly, while I was on the holiday at Capernwray God spoke to me and made me realise how foolish I had been living. Secondly, by God’s providence, I was diagnosed with a condition in my left ear that required an operation. Through this time God was working out His purposes and the operation I needed was going to take place in Manchester and I was going to need some time to recover following it. God provided an opportunity in my company for me to move back home and in September 2018 I moved back and had the operation in November. Since then God has been working in my life and he has transformed everything. I was baptised in September 2019 (would have been earlier but had to wait for my ear to heal) and now I am trying to live my life as a servant for his glory.

However, I do not get the credit for any of this, because it is all due to God’s work inside me. The only reason I am standing here today giving my testimony is because the Lord God sent his Son to die on a cross for me to wash all my sins away. I thank him with all my heart. It is truly amazing grace. The Lord Jesus Christ is the only one who could save me because he is the only perfect man. No one else could have taken my sins away. It fills me with joy to think that, although he had lived in heaven in perfect harmony with His Father and the Holy Spirit for all eternity, He came down to earth to be insulted and rejected by the ones He came to save. Then He was beaten and spat on and crucified when He had done no wrong. And He did it all with a good spirit. Then He was buried and rose again on the third day. These things will be signified in my baptism: when I go under the water it signifies death and burial, then when I come out I am a new person, cleaned by Jesus’ blood. By the power of the Holy Spirit I now want to live the rest of my life serving Jesus my Saviour. Being baptised tonight and becoming a member of this church in Ramsbottom will open doors for me to serve him. When I am older I would like to be a deacon of this church and if God gives me the gifts I would also like to preach His word. But I can always serve Him and I will try to do this for the rest of my life. Please pray for God to give me strength to do this.

There was a time when Billy Graham was on the television being interviewed and he was asked, “How do you become a Christian?” He replied “You have got to see that you are a sinner, repent of your sin, and just believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and let him into your life.” On hearing this I can remember turning to members of my family and saying, “Yes, I believe that!” A few months later my former Pastor stopped his car in Summerseat and asked me if I wanted to hear Billy Graham at Earls Court in London. I replied, “Yes”. I remember it was a nice day out in London, but it was mainly the evening that I remember: an evening that changed my life forever. We went up to Earls Court, and the arena was massive. The first thing that struck me was the music of the choir. On taking our seats, what we saw was breath-taking: in the main body there were seats on the ground floor, and on three sides there were seats rising up in steps. We were on the left hand side, and as we looked down we could see the pulpit in front of us; just behind this was where the guest speakers were seated and above them was the choir. When the service started I can honestly say that I do not remember much of what happened, but I do remember when Mr Graham said: “This might be the last opportunity you get to believe!” My heart was beating so fast and I knew what I had to do. I went forward and I was led into the counselling room at the back where an old gentleman sat me down and told me that I had to repent of my sin and accept the Lord Jesus Christ into my heart. In those moments that is what I did, and when I came out of the meeting, my heart felt like a burden had been lifted – I felt clean. I am now writing this testimony 47 years on, and I can faithfully confirm that the Lord Jesus Christ has been my Saviour and Lord from that time on until now and I would not have it any other way. My life has changed completely and I thank God for it – he has kept me all the way.

What we need is someone to take our place and bear the punishment for our sins, One who himself was perfect and sinless – she took me to the Bible again: “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16) Yes, Christ, God’s Son, is the only way of salvation: “There is no other name under heaven given amongst men whereby we must be saved”(Acts 4:12) As she read to me from the scriptures it was as though God was speaking directly to me and I realised my need of Christ. Mrs. Russ finished by asking me if I believed, to which I replied, “Yes”. She invited me to speak to the Pastor and we made an arrangement to meet together at the home of Mrs. Russ where Pastor Gregory reiterated much of what Mrs. Russ had said. He then said “If you believe and put your trust in Christ for your salvation you will have eternal life. God has promised it”. That day I knelt down in Mrs. Russ’s house, asked Christ into my heart and became a son of God.

I started to go to Sunday school and there I learned more about the cross, and what it meant to be a Christian. In the meantime my friends’ parents moved to Anglesey, and it was whilst I was visiting them on holiday that I attended a gospel mission. I realised that I was a sinner before a holy and just God, and that God was speaking to me. He was pointing me to the cross and there and then I gave my life to Christ and asked Jesus to come into my life and be my saviour. Since that time, instead of my main goal being football, it is now serving the Lord Jesus and telling other people about the way of salvation. Things do not automatically become easy when you are a Christian. I was convicted that Sunday football was wrong, but I found it difficult to give it up. Then I saw the film “Chariots of Fire”, a true story about Eric Liddell, a man who had trained for four years to run in one race in the Olympic Games. When he discovered that the race was to be held on a Sunday, he withdrew, but was given another opportunity to run in the 400 metres on a different day. As he was at starting blocks, a note was past to him quoting the scripture ‘He who honours me I will honour’. Eric Liddell went on to win the Gold medal. I came out of the theatre crying, knowing about how I had let God down. After that I never played another Sunday game again. Whatever you have to give up for God, he will reward you a hundredfold, for God is no man’s debtor. Some time later I played for Stoke City Football Club, in opposition against England. One of my friends handed me a piece of paper before the game, and on it was written those same words ‘He that honoureth me, I will honour’. I went on to play for Bury FC for four years, and various other clubs also. Since the Lord has become the centre of my life He has blessed me in so many ways. I am happily married with two wonderful teenagers, and they too have committed their lives’ to Christ. The Lord also enabled me to find my biological mother. I had a happy reunion with her and was able to spend important time with her before she died. In closing I hope and pray you too will find Christ as your own personal Lord and Saviour.

When I say passion it’s a passion to know about the living God! I was always intrigued as a child to know how Jesus, who seemed just an ordinary man would be able to perform such miracles like turn water into wine, heal lepers, make the blind see, raise the dead back to life and all the other miracles he did and is still doing. As a child I did not attend church on a regular basis but when I did I would always feel a connection between God and myself I think this is because having read about Moses and the Ten Commandments, Jesus and much of the other scriptures, I knew that God wanted me to understand how just he is and how loving he is, having made us in his image, and that no matter what happens, I should try to obey him. Only being a child it felt like a mountain to climb, so I would always go back to my sinful ways doing all kinds of wrong things. Whilst Growing up family life was not the easiest but you just got on with it, I would see all kinds of things going on in other people’s lives as well as my own having come from a big family I.e people falling out and becoming jealous of each other, people moving away, people emigrating, people dying through old age or illness, and other things etc. At 20 years old I joined the Fireservice and have done 14yrs this coming June, I met Gary about 10years ago but have only got to know him properly these last few years. I remember Gaz asking me if I went to church and I said not really on a regular basis but I do go and him saying that there is no better way to serve and praise God, than with and amongst his people and it is so so true. Finding meaning and purpose to life As I got older I found that I kept seeing people come into my life and leave my life through death, fallouts, moving away etc. Its only when I had my first child that I thought really deep about purpose and meaning to my existence and this is when God became part of my life!! He as always been part of my life but at this point I was made able to see from being blind. Before I came to accept God into my life I was distant from God whether that was through my friends, relationships or things of no significance, I generally put my whole heart into other things, things other than God, I also became very fixated on myself and what people thought of me. I became very consumed with what people thought of me and was living for the acceptance of the world. At points in my life I felt that I kept losing and losing which made me feel afraid, at these points God drew me near to Himself. But I was unsure what to do. Deep down I knew that He could save me if I just let Him. When my first child Isaac came into the world because God had aloud him through his creation I then realised that to have creation you need a creator I never really looked at things in such deep and meaningful ways, it was not long after that I confessed to the Lord that I am a sinner and that I was trying to find life in other people, things and myself. I acknowledge everyday that He sent Jesus to die on the cross so that I can be saved from my sin and have eternal life. I am committed to living for God instead of others. This is because if it was not for Gods grand plan then i would not be able to serve others. As Jesus said:- “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13 ESV). Jesus was not just talking about us he was talking about himself and what was to come. How mind blowing and amazing is that! Understanding Prayer and repentance I now understand about repentance and faith in Christ alone and it was my Dad who taught me to pray we would say the Lord’s Prayer most nights at bed time. But it is only in recent years I really understood prayer and what prayer is about and why we as Christians should part take in it. It is that spiritually intimate relationship between us and God. Like it says in 2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayer that is made in this place. For now I have chosen and consecrated this house that my name may be there forever. My eyes and my heart will be there for all time. And as for you, if you will walk before me as David your father walked, doing according to all that I have commanded you and keeping my statutes and my rules, then I will establish your royal throne, as I covenanted with David your father, saying, ‘You shall not lack a man to rule Israel.’ (2 Chronicles 7:14-18 ESV) Becoming part of the body of Christ Since I have become to know Christ, God has shown me that being a “Christian” isn’t about just doing good works. He made it clear that I do not have to earn my salvation or His love (Eph. 2:8-9). He has given me such an amazing feeling of fulfilment and purpose and joy that I just want to glorify him forever. I am not perfect and I still mess up, but God loves me despite my flaws and imperfections, and when the things I was pursuing before continually let me down, God has never once left me. He has shown Himself to me and he convicts me everyday through and in His Word, the Bible. God loved me even at the most vulnerable points of my life and He rescued me from myself and eternal separation from Him. Jesus is everything to me and to glorify him and study his gospel is a major part of my life. Not to long ago before becoming a Christian I used to live for worldly things and achievements and it was not right in Gods eyes, this would be seen as idolatry. What we all have to remember is that you can have all of the awards and medals and things of this earth, but there is only one thing that matters and that is the crown that we will lay at JESUS’s feet. Studying the word of our God It’s In these last few years I have been studying the bible more deeply and in this last year I have been meeting with you wonderful people here at trinity grace church and it is so good to hear the clear, true and meaningful word of the Lord thy God through our gifted pastors, elders and speakers. Jesus speaks to us through his people and I really feel convicted every time I hear his word. I feel so blessed to be a part of this church and am grateful to our Lord for such a wonderful ministry here in Ramsbottom. Just to finish with what Jesus spoke about himself and him not doing things on his own accord, basically saying it is only by the will of God that he Jesus God in the flesh can do anything, that is just a true reflection of us human beings, as Jesus said “I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me. If I alone bear witness about myself, my testimony is not true.” (John 5:30-31 ESV) This life that I have lived and am living is not for me but for the one who created me, it is in a nut shell, because really that’s what it is without Jesus an empty shell worthy of nothing but hell, our lives all in all are about JESUS CHRIST!! Our Lord,our saviour and our friend. AMEN!!!

If my conversion story ended there it would be great but like so many teenagers I made many wrong choices and by the age of 25 had got my life in a terrible mess. However, I had never stopped going to Church on a Sunday evening and one night a relative asked me to go to a Billy Graham rally with her. I went along and was quite moved by what Billy had to say but I didn’t go forward with the many who did. It wasn’t until the following Sunday night when I was in Church (as usual) that the Lord spoke to me in a way in which I could only respond. The Pastor there had also picked a hymn which ended with the words :”Not just a part, or half of my heart, I will give all to Thee”. I realized immediately that I had been giving God one evening a week when I should have been giving Him all of my life. I broke down in tears and from then on started to give Him what I should have been giving Him all along. My life changed dramatically from that time on and I really believe God remembered the prayer I made at 12 years of age and let me live a life of my own choosing until I came gratefully back to Him. I think Grenfell would have been pleased God used that Sunday night service to bring me back to himself. Although being sovereign He could have used anything.

I already knew that to become a Christian I had to believe in the virgin birth; that Jesus lived a perfect life; that He really died on the cross; that He rose again on the third day; that He ascended into heaven; and that He is now interceding for us at the right hand side of God. I had known that I should trust in Jesus before, but now I actually did put my faith in Him to take away my sins. Now I was able to concentrate in the services far better, and could really learn from the Bible being expounded. Over the last year I have had the strength to learn more than in my whole life so far: I can read devotionals without being itchy to finish quickly; I enjoy communion with people at church without having to force myself to talk to them; and I have made friends with older people that I never spoke to before. The ability to pray from the heart would not be possible without the LORD; before God helped me, I could not concentrate properly while praying – I would fidget, think of other things and be distracted easily. Now I can really concentrate and pray what I feel, while also listening properly to other people’s prayers and being encouraged by them. I have found the last few months have been especially helpful: my introduction to the “Pilgrim Devotions” has helped me through the bible – it has “easy to follow” explanations that have helped me understand the bible in a new way. I have been strengthened by God plentifully. I now really enjoy helping with the recordings in the church, and in future I would to do further work in the Church for the glory of God. To finish I would like to quote from the Bible a verse that is very special to me, it is John 3:16: “For God loved me that he gave his only begotten son so that whoever believed in him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

Because God is love, the merciful, forgiving, all powerful, all knowing, eternal creator of all things, we have no natural understanding of Him. In fact in Luke 16:26 we read, “There is a great gulf fixed between us and you.” This gulf between God and mankind is due to sin, as Paul explains in Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” Yet anthropologists down the ages have named our species “HOMO-SAPIENS” – “THE WISE MAN” – “THE KNOWING MAN” – “THE THINKING MAN.” Do we deserve this name? Where is love? Where is understanding? Where is glory? Isaiah was right when he said of God “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways.” (Isaiah 55:8) So, if a great gulf is fixed between God and mankind, and if we are all under sin’s condemnation, falling short of God’s glory, our state is lost! Yet, we claim that God is merciful and forgiving. How can this be? John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Again in John 14:6 Jesus said to Thomas “I am the way, the truth and the life: no one comes to the Father except through me.” Such understanding can only become ours by the personal revelation of God to our hearts by his Holy Spirit. How did this happen for me? I attended an Anglican Church School for my primary education from 1939-1945. Two things come to mind from this time: The War I went to school for 6 years with a gas mask. We were at war with a terrible fascist regime that thought nothing of gassing me, and the whole school! Why should anyone, for any reason, any regime, any “ISM”, require the death of countless children they had never met or known and who posed no threat whatsoever. I was beginning to understand the human condition… The Nature Table At school, do you remember various “monitor” jobs, such as milk monitor, book monitor, and ink monitor? For a while I was the nature table monitor, and it was here that I began to see a CREATOR! I was intrigued how tadpoles metamorphasosed into frogs. The various colours of plants. How could all these things be – what diversity! I was only 9 years old. The reason for such wonders would have to wait until 1953 – another 13 years off. When I left primary school for my secondary education, I had some knowledge of mankind and his habitual warfare in history, some thoughts of creation and some religious thoughts. I knew the hymn: All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small; All things wise and wonderful, The Lord God made them all! I had some Bible knowledge such as the beatitudes from Matthew 5:1-10, and Simeon’s revelation in Luke 2:25-35, “My eyes have seen your salvation.” But as yet I did not yet know this salvation for myself. Army National Service I served 2 years during 1954–1956 in the R.A.M.C. (Royal Army Medical Corps). A friend and colleague of mine was selected for the R.A.O.C. (Royal Army Ordinance Corps) making the weapons of war, at the same time. What a perverse world, that of 2 men trained in the same principles of chemistry, one should be selected to produce bombs (ammunition to maim and kill), and the other to heal and care for terrible war wounds caused by those bombs. Is this not an indictment on mankind? In 1953 scientists elucidated the structure of DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid) and later its genetical function; my interests in the Nature Table became clear; this DNA molecule coded the diverse nature of plants and animals. Compare this with Genesis 1 where we are told that God created all things according to their own kinds, just as the D.N.A genetic code creates according to its own kind. So, the frogspawn – tadpole – frog is coded genetically for this metamorphosis! Yet even now I was no closer to the centre of God’s circle, that spiritual place of love, grace, and forgiveness. Conversion In 1961, when I was 27 years old, I was invited by a friend and local pastor to attend a gospel crusade at Manchester City’s football ground. I heard the gospel preached by the American Evangelist Billy Graham: he spoke intensely on Christ and Him crucified as a sacrifice for sin. It was personal. It was convicting. I became keenly aware of my own sinfulness and I was ashamed. I heard these precious words: “Come to Christ, He forgives, and receive new and everlasting life”. I accepted and went forward; I received pamphlets on the Scriptures; I was put in contact with a counsellor who visited me at home several times. Later, I joined the aforementioned pastor’s church, where Christ was preached in sincerity and truth. I later joined in teaching Sunday school and youth work and I am still attending the same church over 50 years later! You will see from the rest of this web site our preaching of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and our various outreaches. Conclusion I have considered over the years the various “ISMS” of mankind and find them seriously flawed, because they proceed from thoughts of man and not God. COMMUNISM – IMPERIALISM – FASCISM – ATHEISM – COLONIALISM – TOTALITARIANISM – MONETARISM They all fail and bring a wake of exploitation & hurt to fellow humanity. So I conclude that man is uniquely spiritual, made by God, to worship Him in truth. I conclude that Jesus Christ is the only mediator between God and man, and that He is the Son of God sent to bring about the salvation of mankind. I conclude that no one is able to satisfy a righteous Father by his own works. It is only by the works of a pure, spotless, gracious Lord Jesus testified by the Holy Spirit that will obtain forgiveness and acceptance before God. And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and man became a living being. (Genesis 2:7) Edwin Hatch (1835-1889) explains beautifully in the words of this hymn: Breath on me, breath of God, Fill me with life anew, That I may love what thou dost love, And do what thou wouldst do. This is the essence of the centrality of Christ in all we do.

I began to study; I read tons of papers on Psychology, Buddhism, Hinduism, and Philosophy. And over a year I had built up an image in my mind of what was going on within me, and how we all fit into this immense Universe. But something was still wrong. My depression grew very dark. Every day I was hurting all those around me that loved me. I was still truly lost and very, very low, and I could still not see how I fit into the bigger picture. I noticed that things I had previously enjoyed in life, I no longer felt any interest in. Many of my hobbies and interests fell by the wayside, as I felt they were either a burden, or things I should no longer be wasting time with. I turned away from mainstream media; I noticed more and more how things were being controlled in the world politically. It was almost as if someone or something else had come into me and was sorting out the messy garage that was my mind, throwing out the old junk, cleaning the shelves, and making room for something much greater indeed. The One thing I did not read however was the Bible. I had read some of it in my teens, in a small Christian group. We visited a different church every week, and being a strong minded teen I had developed a very poor impression of the types of people that were Christian, and I wanted to live life and have fun. It was a short lived experience really, and yet I had let those impressions of a few, dictate to me an idea that all Christianity was like that. Oh how wrong I was. My Wife went out and got me a second hand copy of a Good News Bible. Being made for Teens it would be as good as any where to start. I read the Gospel of John, and I was overwhelmed. In my mind I realised that even if Jesus was just a Man and nothing more, what an amazing man he was. Could it be that I had been so wrong, for so long? I knew I needed to find out more. For the first time in a very long time I prayed. I did not think I would get any answers, even if God was real, I did not think that He would be bothered with the likes of me, after all In my past I had even denied his existence, and I had not been in any way a good boy in my life before this. “Ok big Guy. If you are God. If this story is real. If this book is really your word, Please show me how it really is, please God, show me where I fit in.” After that prayer something really began to happen. As I read every day, devouring my way through the New Testament, I had more and more questions. “What is faith? How do I get faith when I do not know what it is? What about my doubts, how do I deal with them? The list went on. Before every reading I would pray to God to help me understand what I was reading. And almost every day over the next week or so, my understanding began to grow. I would get answers to my many questions not just from the Bible, but as I was struggling over the Faith Doubt issue, a TV show came on TBN called The Rebels Guide that dealt specifically with the issue. Coincidence? Perhaps… I needed to understand how to forgive others, as I felt that if I could not forgive those who wronged me in the past, how could God forgive me. The next day I saw a Reverend on the TV that talked about his new book that dealt with the issue. Being skint I had a look on the web about him. An hour long discussion by him was waiting on my “recommended for you list” on Youtube. This was getting to be like something off the “Twilight Zone”. I was being given the answers to all my questions. Finally I realised, I needed to make a decision. One that would affect every cell of my being, and every thought I had ever had. I had to admit to myself the result of the overwhelming evidence that lay before me, the things that were happening to me almost daily, and the Word itself. God was real. Furthermore, all those dark times I had been through, when I thought if God was real, then he had forsaken me, I had been wrong. He had been stood right with me all the time, and yet I had chosen not to see him. I had turned my back to Him, my God. I burst into tears and prayed. I looked up the sinner’s prayer and begged for forgiveness. I knew I needed to repent and become a Christian. And I knew I needed help. I looked online at the Churches in Leigh. I knew I did not want any part in my nearest Church as it was Roman Catholic. I knew St Thomas’s where I had been christened as a Child was now closed down. I looked at the websites of other CE Churches. But something felt wrong. I knew that all that mattered to me was God, Jesus, and the Bible. These were the things I felt I had to focus on. No traditions, no pomp and ceremonies, just the bare basics, the solid truth. I began a search for Independent Churches online and found the federation of evangelical churches. I knew that these had a bad press with events and rallies in the USA, but something felt right about it. I looked for churches in my area and found this One, Bethany Evengelical Church. I looked on the website. Page One “We are a Bible-based, Christ-centered, welcoming church in Leigh, Greater Manchester. Thanks for dropping by. Please read on and you will find out more about us.” Looked good so far. Now the ‘what we believe’ page “We are here because we believe God’s Son, Jesus Christ, has a claim on our lives and can completely transform them. “ Perfect. Just what I had been looking for and exactly what was happening to me. I left John a message and he got back to me the next day. We had a long chat and a nice long meeting, and now I am here. And since I came here I have learned, that for the past year and a half, the Holy Spirit has been working both in me, and around me, to bring me back to our God the Father. I know that thanks to the sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ, The perfect Lamb, the Son of Man, and the Son of God, I have repented and have been forgiven. I know that by Gods grace I am here, and in Christ my old self has died, and I am born anew.

This saying found an agreement in my heart, and so I started going back to church with my Mum, we both went to the Primitive Methodist. Very soon after starting to attend I was asked to teach in the Sunday school, which I did willingly. At this time I was not a Christian, I had not committed my heart to the Lord, but then two events happened in my life that changed this: First, when I was 18 or a little before, a visiting preacher came to preach at our church, I knew him, he was a friend. To tell the truth, I cannot remember much of what he said, but in his preaching he kept saying: “You must be born again” and often he repeated this refrain: “You must be born again”. At the end of the service he announced the final hymn something like this: “Please turn to our final hymn for this service which is: ‘Lord Jesus, I love Thee, I know thou art mine!’ and dear friend if you do not love Him, then do not sing.” I was disturbed by what he said; I thought to myself: ‘me not to sing, I am not taking notice of that, of course I am going to sing,’ and so we started to sing: Lord Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine! For Thee all the pleasures of sin I resign; My gracious Redeemer, my Saviour art Thou! If ever I Loved Thee, Lord Jesus, ‘tis now! I was starting to feel uncomfortable now: did I love Jesus? Had I resigned all the pleasures of sin? I was now beginning to wonder! I still wanted to sing; I still was sure that I had every right to sing, and so I continued: I love Thee because Thou hast first loved me, And purchased my pardon on Calvary’s Tree; I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow; If ever I loved Thee, Lord Jesus, ‘tis now! By this time my mind was in turmoil: did I really know these things? Jesus first loved me? Jesus pardoned my sins on Calvary’s Tree? Jesus wore a crown of thorns for me? Did I love him now? I was still saying to myself, “it is okay; it is alright; just carry on singing.” I will love thee in life; I will love Thee in death And praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath; And say when the death-dew lies cold on my brow; If ever I loved Thee, Lord Jesus, ‘tis now! By this time, my defences were down, I knew the truth, I could not honestly sing this song and so I did not sing the fourth verse: I did not sing about going to heaven, for now I felt it was speaking of a place I had no right to go. I did not sing then I just cried quietly to myself. I guess if the preacher had made an invitation to come and commit to Jesus there and then I would have, but no such invitation was made. Over the coming weeks and months I continued to pray to God seeking His face, seeking His forgiveness, and I know He answered my pray. Not just because I prayed but because I prayed with faith, and it was not my faith but faith given to me by God. The prayer was answered, but I was shy and the confirmation of my answered prayer was the second important time in my life. When I was 18 the Bury Gospel Team came to our church and during the mission week an invitation was made: “If anyone wants to follow Jesus, commit their life to him, then come forward” That day, I came forward, and from that day to this, God has kept me, and I never ever wanted to go back into the world. In 1955 I was worshipping in the Primitive Methodist church in Summerseat, but the church building became unsafe and had to be closed and pulled down. We continued worshiping in members’ homes, and by doing this we were able to keep a very large children’s work from closing. After this for a few years we were worshipping in a garage; then for another few years in the top of the Liberal club; then we rented the empty Co-op for many years, and finally we came to Ramsbottom. In all this God has kept us. As a church we have had many ups and downs, people joining us, people leaving us: but through it all God has kept us. We have worshipped in houses, a garage, a Liberal club and a Co-op before we moved to our current premises in Ramsbottom: however, through it all God has been good to us and the word has been preached regularly and faithfully all this time During all of this we were led by a very able pastor and preacher called Raymond Gregory and in 1966/7 he encouraged me to be baptised: this I did! I cannot remember much about the baptism, being shy I was very frightened at speaking publicly, yet I am glad I did confess publicly the faith which I now had. I with many others from the church were baptised in a church at Kay Street, Rawtenstall. I have now served the Lord for 57 years and I have had the pleasure of serving in the church for many years as the pianist playing in many of the services. It is a great pleasure and privilege to serve the Lord in this way. One of the privileges that I have is that while the offering is being taken, I choose to play Christian tunes. For quite a while now I have settled on playing two choruses which speak of the wonderful work of the Saviour: many times as I play I am singing those words: Lest I forget Gethsemane, Lest I forget Thine agony, Lest I forget Thy love to me, Lead me to Calvary Wonderful place called Calvary, Wonderful place called Calvary; Love redeeming love, I see, At the place called Calvary. Finally, let me tell you this: remember that I told you how I found it very difficult to sing that wonderful hymn: ‘Lord Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine?’ Well now I can testify that I can sing this hymn in sincerity and truth. It is true that my love is weak and not strong; it is true that I could love Him more; but do I love Him. Oh yes I do! Now I can sing this entire hymn, with honesty, even the verse I could not sing before, the one that talked about being with God in heaven. That is true for me now, but if it is not for you, it can be! Just believe, just trust in Jesus. I close reciting this verse: In mansions of glory and endless delight, I’ll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright; I’ll sing with the glittering crown on my brow; If ever I loved Thee, Lord Jesus, ‘tis now!

Initially Ernie listened to me ranting on about Christians being a load of hypocrites and of my belief in some kind of reincarnation. However, as the months passed by I began to warm to Ernie mainly because of his humour and the fact, for the first time in my life, someone cared about me and my problems. All the preconceived barriers about Ernie and my prejudicial views of Christianity were broken down, such as the ‘holy Joe’ image which had been promoted by many in the factory and I began to learn that Ernie was no hypocrite. Slowly over a period of many months the things Ernie said about the Bible began to make sense. Ernie would often pull out his grease stained New Testament out of his grubby overall pocket and quote the scriptures to me. I had at that time a kind of split personality. When talking with Ernie I felt different and acted differently. When I was with my macho work colleagues, like the chameleon, I changed colours, especially the colour of my language. I remember on one occasion sitting on a bench in the stenter room next to Arthur. Arthur was a friend of mine who liked to show off his muscles and we often engaged in acts of proving who was the strongest. As we sat together on the bench Ernie approached us, and as Arthur made some derogatory comment under his breath Ernie handed me a book entitled ‘Peace with God.’ It was then that I really did change colour, a bright red! This embarrassing clash of conflicting allegiances became a turning point in my attitude towards Ernie and the Christian faith. On another occasion we were having problems on the stenter; the cloth had come out of the clips which meant yards and yards were ruined and whilst I was ranting and raving and cursing and swearing at the lady who was supposed to be watching it Ernie’s head appeared round the corner of the stenter, he was smiling which left me grimacing with embarrassment at my treatment of this lady old enough to be my mother. Again my hypocrisy was exposed. It was events like this which exposed sides of my character which I was blind to. One day Ernie came up to me and told me that a friend of his had seen me staggering up Bolton Street, drunk. At one time, being told about being drunk in the street would not have bothered me, but now I was beginning to be concerned about these double standards. Deep conviction. Another ‘never to be forgotten moment’ in my conversations with Ernie is extremely vivid in my memory. For me personally to try and live the Christian life was a sheer impossibility. To leave my pleasures and live a life of church going and commitment to a few odd folk in and a renovated Co-op building down in Summerseat was not going to happen. However, on this occasion Ernie told me that being a Christian first and foremost was to believe. I remember saying to myself ‘I believe’ and there was such a wonderful surge of joy within me, but at the same time one of fear for I knew then that my sins would have to go, but at that particular moment I was not willing to forsake my sins. It is hard to remember the sequence of events, but I do remember about this time going into the Royal Oak, ordering my pint of ale, sitting down to join my friends. I only had mouthful of that drink before a deep conviction of sin came over me. I felt utterly wretched; I heard the bad language and profanities of the tap room as never before. My friends were asking me if I was not well and for the first time in all my drinking sessions I got up, walked out, and left a full glass of beer. I made my way home and just sat in the armchair for the rest of the evening with an intense feeling of guilt. The following day the feeling of guilt had passed and I was planning for the weekend. It was not long before the feeling of guilt returned. Going into a licensed club somewhere in Bolton the guilt was as acute as ever, probably because the club had once been a chapel. I then embarked on a period of trying to reform myself. I succeeded in stopping smoking with help of a few packets of mint imperials I also began to drink less. Over the course of a few weeks I managed to break off my relationship with the girl I had met at the local dance hall. Breaking off this relationship was not easy. She did not know literally whether I was coming or going. One day I would break it off, the next day I would be on her door step asking to see her again. I explained to her that I was being challenged by the claims of Christ and the Bible, to which she said that we could both start going to church, the problem was that she and her family were Roman Catholics with little concept of what following Christ really meant. On the Friday of the 14th of October 1964 Ernie once again invited me to the Sunday service in Summerseat, not very enthusiastically I might add as he was slowly giving up hope by now. On the 15th of October I went to the Bolton Casino on Crompton Way and lost what remaining money I had. I was twenty four years old, in full time work with not a penny to my name. On the 16th of October, Sunday afternoon, I sauntered down to the old Co-op building and plucking up courage joined those odd folk that I had for so long struggled to avoid. A new beginning. When I joined the congregation in Summerseat on that Sunday afternoon there were no spiritual fireworks or spiritual flashing neon lights. I do not even remember anything of the sermon. After the service I made it clear to the Pastor and others that I was not far from the Kingdom of God, although looking back I realise that my entry into the kingdom was probably on the day I first believed. The Lord Himself, in His grace and mercy, took away the worldly idols that had prevented me from embracing the new life of obedience He was patiently offering in Christ. The work of revealing eternal and spiritual realities had achieved the desired goal. Instances of the work of God in my soul were many and there are experiences which I will never forget. Being told that Christ is going to return in a moment and twinkling of an eye one day had me in great perplexity and fear, fear that I would be left behind. Being told that all the hidden things that I had done in my life would be shouted from the housetops in the day of judgement left me with no place to hide. The gospel from Ernie’s lips came not just in word only, but in power and demonstration of the Holy Spirit. Praise His Name! On the following day, Monday, came the challenge that I was not exactly relishing. However, confessing Christ before my work colleagues was not as bad as I had feared. I told my lady work colleague, the lady previously mentioned in the cursing swearing episode, and from there the whole factory of two to three hundred knew of my conversion within the day. Bessie, by the way, became a Christian a few years later. For me a new life had begun, a life of learning to forsake the idols of this world and live for Christ and see the fulfilment of the perplexing question asked of Jesus by his disciples; “Who then can be saved?” But Jesus looked at them and said to them,” With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Next year will be the 50th anniversary of the Lord’s wonderful intervening grace in granting me repentance and faith. Praise His Name!

I read the Bible from beginning to end. I didn’t understand it, and I became more frustrated as my need grew stronger. One Bible verse I read was Matthew 22:32: “I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. God is not the God of the dead, but of the living.” This verse had me all confused, because I knew Abraham, Isaac and Jacob were dead. Finally I decided to go to my local parish church, but that didn’t help either. I just felt dead inside. As I was walking past Ramsbottom Evangelical Church, as it was named at the time, I just knew that is were I needed to go; but seeing lots of young people coming out put me off, due to my lack of confidence and self esteem. The following week a tract came through my letterbox inviting me to go and hear Billy Graham speak in Liverpool, and it was from the Evangelical Church. I said to myself out loud “Yes! Yes!” because I had finally got a connection to my need inside. To be honest, I can’t remember a word Billy Graham said, I only knew I was getting closer to fulfilling this need I had, even though I still didn’t’t know what it was; I just knew I had to find it. Coming home on the coach I was invited to the Sunday morning service. Listening to the sermons over the next five weeks was very challenging, and at times confusing, but also very inspiring. The God of all grace revealed to me I was a sinner. I knew I had to do something about it, but I didn’t know what. I was hearing that I had to go to the cross at Calvary, but in my ignorance my thoughts were, “How I am going to be able to go all that way?” I got up one morning feeling empty, for some reason feeling my time was running out. I said, “God, you’re going to have to tell me what to do,” and He did: in a moment. The foot of the cross was my living room, were I knelt down, and begged God to forgive me a sinner, and I asked Jesus to come into my life. At that time I felt my Lord open His arms to receive me. It was the most wonderful feeling; I truly had been saved. I now understood the meaning in Matthew 22:32, because I had now been made alive unto God, and it is all because my Lord Jesus Christ was willing to sacrifice His Life on the cross for my sins. Praise God my Heavenly Father for His grace. Praise my Lord Jesus Christ for His sacrifice. Praise the Holy Spirit for opening my heart and ears to the things of God.

With the religious cult behind me at the age of 26 I became a progress chaser at a soap manufacturer. Now living at home, enjoying my own company, and for the most of the time happy with life, life was fine, no problems, no ambitions, just ambling along. Then, something happened to change my life forever, initially it led me to find some friends, but later I was to find the friend of friends, the friend of sinners. I went into the bathroom as one does from time to time, and noticed a piece of paper on the floor, I do not know how it ended up there, but I took hold of it and read it. I cannot remember the exact words, but it said something like this: “PHAB CLUB ON AT LOCAL SCHOOL ON SUNDAY NIGHT ALL WELCOME” Phab stands for PHysically Disabled & ABle Bodied, I decided to go to this club, and so on the Sunday Night at the appropriate time I went, this particular club was run by a man named Barry Hancox. Barry had a friendly disposition and willingness to involve me fully from the moment I came into the club; this meant that I settled into going each week, and eventually became the driver of the mini bus, ferrying everyone to the club. I discovered as I became to know more about Barry that he was from a big family having 3 sisters, and 3 brothers. One of his sisters was called Linda, and Linda was a Christian worshipping at Walkden Evangelical Church and as time went by I was introduced to Linda and eventually Linda invited me to the Church. I decided to go one Sunday morning and was impressed by the way the preacher spoke, speaking only about what the bible was saying and not about his own opinions. I remember that he spoke from Genesis 3 and the serpent having his head bruised but only bruising the heel of the seed of the woman. Then from the scriptures the preacher showed that this Seed was the Lord Jesus Christ. I was awe struck by the way he proved this truth by letting scripture prove scripture. I continued to go each week, and I soon came to know the man who was running the church whose name was Raymond Gregory, at that time he was also running a church in Ramsbottom, later on he also ran a church in Skelmersdale. Raymond was a Godly man who loved Jesus, loved his word and preached in ways of depth yet with simplicity. I learn a lot in those early months and started to understand the contents of many books in the bible. This learning as never stopped, for there is always something more to discover from God’s word. At this time my loyalty was divided, I still wanted to be of service to the Phab club but more than this I now wanted to attend church not just on Sunday mornings but also on Sunday Evenings as well. I gave up Phab club and became a regular attender of all the meetings at Walkden Evangelical Church. Linda was a great help and inspiration at this time, and I remember coming out of my house one day and seeing in my mind’s eye that Christ had died on the Cross for MY sins. It made tears come to my eyes thinking the creator God would do this for me. All I had to do was to accept his sacrifice, say I was sorry for my sins, and live in the knowledge that this work of Christ was a full and complete satisfaction for all my sins. I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ, Creator of Heaven and Earth, as my Saviour and Lord. Later Raymond ask me if I would like to be baptised and so one Saturday evening myself, Linda and a group of men from Ramsbottom Church went to a service in a church in Bolton and there publically we were all baptised. A public testament of what had already happened in my life. In 1981 Linda became my wife, then in 1986 my daughter Amanda Jane was born and now in 2013 I have a Granddaughter Grace Ava. Looking back over the 33 years, I can testify that God has kept me; sadly I cannot say that I have been as faithful to God as God has been to me. There have been times when I have been scared and lacked trust in God, but I know He will keep me to the end. I am so glad that I have given my life to God, accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. To love God the Father accept his Son as my Saviour and to be indwelt with the Holy Spirit is what life is all about. It is just a delight.

Some months ago, Oliver talked about words beginning with the letter D. I’m not sure if he fully appreciated the significance, but to a mathematician the letter D, or Delta in Greek, is the symbol for change. The biblical word “repent” means to change – to change one’s heart, mind, thought and views towards sin and righteousness. We are brought to life by the Holy Spirit and then consciously turn to God in repentance and faith. There have been many periods of disappointing depths of darkness in my life that I’ve never really understood and sadly I didn’t sense the Divine presence of the Lord beside me. As it says in John 1:5 (NKJV); “And the light shineth in darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.” There are several words beginning with the letter D that have and will have a major impact on my life. These and other signs have directed me to be standing here before our Lord and you, searching for the gift of salvation that has led me to repent my sins, changing my beliefs and faith forever. The first real impact on my thoughts was my Dad. Although my Mum took me regularly to the local Methodist chapel, it was my Dad’s views on God when I was a formative teenager that led me to change my outlook. I drifted into doubt and stopped going to the chapel. My Dad was disillusioned that God could allow such suffering and pain and his views were fashioned by the horrors he saw during WW2, especially the horrendous loss of life on the slopes of Monte Cassino, which was a major conflict between the Allies and the Germans on the way to Rome. He was in the Royal Army Medical Corps trying to save lives while others were intent on taking lives. Sadly the smoking habits he developed during wartime, especially while he was suffering from malaria and injured by 2 bullet wounds in his leg, led to 3 heart attacks and then a lingering death over many months struggling to breathe as his lungs drowned in the thick fluid of the toxic tar of tobacco. Around this time, we got a message from my aunt and uncle out in New Zealand that a wheel had fallen off a bread delivery van and it hit my 18 year old cousin while he was out riding his bike. Very sadly Jimmy died from his injuries. That news affected my dad badly and he struggled to understand why God allowed a young man on the cusp of adult life to be taken from us. I can still remember watching this once powerful man of only 55 die of lung cancer before my eyes early in January 1972. The next major D word that impacted on my life about six years later was the depression that my mum was suffering. At 24 years old, I didn’t understand what she was going through and very sadly after what was a misunderstanding between us several months later she took her own life, again at the relatively young age of 55. That was very difficult to deal with and wasn’t helped by what her sisters and brothers, who all lived hundreds of miles away, felt about the situation and partially blamed me for what had happened – they had to have someone to blame. I never knew any of my grandparents and the only person that was like a grandmother to me had the wake at her house. She also went to the local Methodist chapel where my Mum attended. After my Mum’s funeral at the chapel I drove some of my relatives to Gran’s house but when I walked in after them, the living room door was shut in front of me, which was hard to bear and it still hurts after almost 40 years. Very sadly the day of my Mum’s funeral in May 1979 was also the last time I ever saw any of my aunts and uncles. This was a time of great sadness for me as my parents didn’t get to see and share in my life and seeing the successes and the growing-up of me and my 2 wonderful children into adults with their own lives to live. The next major trauma with a D word I faced was about 20 years ago when my first wife wanted a divorce. I didn’t want to go through with it, but if it hadn’t have occurred then I wouldn’t be standing here today. That was the beginning of a bleak winter as I battled with being alone and being lonely. Despair and disappointment became my two closest friends as I struggled to cope and they turned me to drink as I descended deeper into the desolate dungeon of darkness. Who could free me from these darkening shadows of darkness? I couldn’t see the light then, but I can now and the answer certainly wasn’t at the bottom of a glass or a bottle. One Friday evening there was an Irish promotion night in Bury and I drank more than a gallon of Guinness before staggering home. In those days it was before sat-navs and suddenly an ambulance with its blue flashing lights stopped and asked for the directions to the local maternity hospital. They must have cursed their luck to stop a wandering wastrel, but I think I gave them the right directions. It was a defining moment for me and I vowed that after that night I would never get that incapable ever again. My life was drifting nowhere and I was spending most of my time watching football matches from all over the world but with little interest as it was something to pass the time. I now realise that subtle signs and messages were being sent to me, which on reflection, were turning me back to the light of Jesus and reducing my darkness. I was watching a soccer match from the United States and there was a banner held up by a couple of fans that simply said “John 3:16”. This wasn’t the usual sign of support by football fans for their team and it triggered my curiosity. The match wasn’t at all memorable but the message on the banner certainly was. That was another sign of what I thought was fate that changed my life’s direction which was followed by another twist. I was still struggling to come to terms with the stresses of the break-up of my marriage when a new manager came into my life at work and we had many disagreements. He was regular churchgoer but I didn’t see any compassion in him and to solve his problems, he arranged a transfer for me to another department of the Council, which turned out to be the best ever move for me. I met who turned out to be an angel whose name means “a follower of Christ” and she has been a great help to me and putting me on the road to salvation. She came into my life, and although it has taken some years, her ways have led me back to believing once more and to loving the Lord Jesus Christ again. Around that time I was studying for a Master’s Degree in Management and I’ve adapted a simple thought provoking process I encountered back then. How do you put a dinosaur into a fridge? What we’ve been taught is that it’s not possible. We’ve been told that dinosaurs were huge creatures that became extinct many years ago, while fridges are much smaller and were only developed within the past 100 years or so. Our brains tell us that the different times and different dimensions mean it’s not possible to do. Yet the answer is very simple. You open the fridge door and you guide the dinosaur in. I began to realise that you shouldn’t try and find overly complicated solutions to relatively simple questions. Similarly my thoughts struggled with what Jesus said while He was on the cross, “In my Father’s house there are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.” (John 14:2 NKJV) My knowledge and thoughts are telling me that the structure must be enormous to fit everyone who over the centuries has believed in the Lord Jesus and it’s mind-blowing to imagine the size of the building. Yet again the answer is very simple. You open the door and walk right in. Door is a simple 4 letter word but it is having the biggest influence of all the words beginning with D and will change my life forever. In John 10:9, Jesus said; “I am the door: by Me if any man enters in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.” I couldn’t find any door during my time wandering through the darkness of the spiritual wilderness, but I now know the answer is very simple. The Lord Jesus Christ is the only door by which we may enter and be saved. The Disciples were uncertain as to how to follow Jesus. Again the answer is very simple as Jesus says in John 14:6, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but by Me.” Now I‘ve finally understood what the John 3:16 message on the banner at the soccer match means that intrigued me all those years ago. ”For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Satan’s spectre of sinful regret sometimes still haunts me. Regret can be a devastating demon clinging like a dark shadow, whose darkness can be an overwhelming sorrow. The apostle Paul was made a minister to the gentiles and sent by God “to open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in Jesus.” (Acts 26:18) But repenting my sins and surrendering to the Lord Jesus in faith, my sins are forgiven and repentance brings the delights of faith restoring the sweetness of salvation. As we’ve been celebrating the 500th anniversary of when the Reformation began, I’ve read that its Calvinist motto, engraved on the Reformation monument wall in the University of Geneva, is “Post Tenebrae Lux”, which is Latin for “after darkness, light”. This appears to build on what it says in Job 17:12 which was written some 3,000 years before – “After darkness, I hope for light”. I’ve sometimes been suffocated by the shadow of spiritual darkness for nearly 50 years, but coming through the door of Trinity Grace, and with all the help and guidance within, I’m now seeing brilliant beacons of light, love and faith that enlighten those shadows. Some 700 hundred years before Christ, Isaiah 9:2 says “the people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, upon them a light has shined.” Without the Lord Jesus there is nothing but darkness and chaos. The grace of God and the Lord Jesus is leading me out of the darkness and into the light of Scripture. I need to turn away from sin and darkness and turn to the Light. As the Lord Jesus says in John 8:12; “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” The Lord Jesus also said in John 12:46; “I have come as a light into the world, that whoever believes in Me should not abide in darkness.” Today I’m leaving all of the darkness behind me as I renew my faith and love of the Lord Jesus. Now I know the answer to who will free me from the desolate dungeon of darkness. The simple truth is that it is the Lord Jesus Christ who will set me free. Doing the research and academic studies during my time here have greatly strengthened, stimulated and enriched my spiritual life. Personally I need to have evidence to give me a greater understanding of the culture and historical context of what has happened. Nothing is now undermining my faith in the trustworthiness of the Gospels and what they teach us about the Lord Jesus. All the historical evidence has rekindled my commitment to Jesus Christ as the Son of God who loves us, who died for us and who sacrificed Himself for the sins of all mankind. There’s nothing complicated in understanding what the Lord Jesus did for us. It’s simple. Before coming here to Trinity Grace,

• I had a very simple view of what a church is – just a building where believers congregate to worship God.
•  I had a very simple view of what a sinner is – someone who does desperately wicked things.
• I had a very simple view of what a saint is – someone who does really good things for their fellow men and is sanctioned by the Pope, who generally begins the process at least 5 years after their death.
• I had a very simple understanding of Grace – something that was said just before having a meal.

All of these views changed through coming here and I began to believe once more in the Lord. I now know that “we don’t go to church: we are the church”. It’s not a place or a building but it’s us, people who are in Christ Jesus, who are the church. I now know that Christians are both sinners and saints. All human beings are sinners because we are born in sin. But not all human beings are saints. I now know that Saints are those who belong to the body of Christ, saved by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8–9). Saint is another word for a Christian, a true believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, which I believe I’ve become by being re-born through my spiritual re-birth. God, in His great mercy and grace, has provided the means for me to turn from being a sinner into a saint — the Lord Jesus Christ. We need a Saviour from sin and accept that His sacrifice on the cross means that we can become saints. I now realise that the Holy Spirit has been the brilliant beacon of everlasting light guiding me through all of the darkness that has sometimes suffocated me and is now lighting up my heart and directing my destiny to the Lord Jesus. The darkness is almost gone as salvation brings light to those who are in the dark. I need to repent and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation. Repentance is a divine gift. No one can repent unless God grants repentance. Enjoying the sweetness of salvation is utterly impossible without God’s grace. My baptism is an outwardly visible sign of an inward change brought about by the grace of God through the Holy Spirit and I have chosen to turn away from sin and follow the ways of the Lord Jesus Christ. The Lord will not drag us over the threshold but by repenting my sins and by going through the baptism of repentance today, I believe I now have the faith and the love of the Lord Jesus to choose the right door to salvation and becoming a Christian and a true believer seeing and basking in His light forever. 70 years ago Hank Williams Snr wrote a country music song that has become a hymn and many of the lyrics can be found in the Scriptures – Matthew 7:13-14, John 9:1-9, 1 Thessalonians 5:2-4 and Revelations 22:5 “I Saw the Light” I wandered so aimless, life filled with sin. I wouldn’t let my dear saviour in. Then Jesus came like a stranger in the night, Praise the Lord I saw the light. I saw the light, I saw the light No more darkness, no more night. Now I’m so happy no sorrow in sight Praise the Lord I saw the light. Just like a blind man I wandered along Worries and fears I claimed for my own. Then like the blind man that God gave back his sight Praise the Lord I saw the light. I saw the light, I saw the light No more darkness no more night. Now I’m so happy no sorrow in sight Praise the Lord I saw the light. I was a fool to wander and a-stray Straight is the door and narrow the way. Now I have traded the wrong for the right Praise the Lord I saw the light. I saw the light, I saw the light No more darkness, no more night. Now I’m so happy no sorrow in sight Praise the Lord I saw the light.

I found a rented home with a man called Jim; later on I discovered that Jim was a Christian. I enjoyed living in this rented home with Jim and a few other lodgers. Then Jim invited me to come with him to the church, but I said “No”. Then Jim asked me again to come to church and again I said “No”. Eventually, for the sake of peace I decided to go with him to church! I went to church, and then I went again and again, eventually accepting the offer of taking a course called ‘Christianity Explored’ which was designed for those who knew nothing about the Christian Faith, to help them understand something about Christ and Christianity. By this time, I believed that God existed and Jesus was God and came into this earth as a man. So then was I a Christian? The answer was no, for there was no change in my life. I wanted to become a Christian, I prayed for weeks, I shouted out loud in my prayers, “Lord, I am ready now, save me.” Nothing; no answer from God. I was still drinking at this time and in 2009/10 I found myself in a secure ward in Fairfield Hospital in Bury. It was in this place that I found Christ, and this is how it came about: I was being visited by the pastor of the local church that me and Jim attended. Oliver came to see me often, and this was just one of those visits. During this visit no flash-bang conversion happened: we read the bible together, had a general talk and then Oliver prayed and left me. Then one of the patients in the bed next to me said: “Hey will you take me for a pint?” Now that is not one of the things you ask an alcoholic, which is what we both were. I answered him in the following way, “I think we have a few problems to overcome before I can do that: first we have to pass the guards (nurses); secondly we have to open the security lock; thirdly we have to walk through the grounds, and fourthly, the biggest problem of all, you cannot get out of bed on your own, because you are physically incapable of moving yourself!” His reply was rude, something about me going away. This made me think yes, my bed-fellow was physically sick, but I was spiritually sick, I was helpless before God, nothing could I do to save myself, helpless, hopeless and a completely ruined human being. Understanding this about myself, I prayed again but this time my prayer was a sincere cry that I was a helpless, undeserving sinner and I had done wrong against God. I told Him of my problems, confessed my sins and asked for forgiveness. That day Jesus came into my life, and my whole attitude to life and to God changed; I was a new creature or to be more precise I was a new ‘work in progress’ creature. But his is not the end! I cannot end this testimony with the words, “and he lived happily ever after.” Sadly, I let Him down often. However, that day in the hospital was the start of a relationship with the Lord where, despite my failings, He has never let me down once. For a while, I continued to live with Jim, who was very supportive and helpful in my spiritual life. Sadly, I lost my job as a postman and was on benefit for some time, but then while still living with Jim I was able to find a job as a meter reader. This went well, and at one time, I was asked to work over in Liverpool, which I gladly did. Due to new circumstances in Jim’s life, he needed to sell his house, so, at very short notice I had to find another place, and I was able to find something very quickly which was only a mile or two away from the church. Several things happened, which I now know to have been very foolish. Firstly my job became less enjoyable, I stopped going to church as much and I started going into a pub. I said to myself, “just go in for the one drink”, but the one drink did not last for long, for I was on my own a lot and being in the pub gave me someone to talk to. Just talking does not go down well in a pub, it is talking and drinking and for an alcoholic who is trying to dry out, talking and drinking is not on the menu. Drink and work does not mix and so I lost my meter reading job and then the lady who looks after the flats for the landlord, spotted that I was struggling to walk up the stairs to my flat, and so she telephoned my eldest daughter who was entered as my next of kin. My ex-wife answered the telephone and agreed to come and see me: when she saw me, she realised that I was at death’s door and that I needed urgent hospital attention. She telephoned for an ambulance, and my recovery from alcohol sickness started. For the next 10 months, I was treated at various hospitals and a centre: Fairfield Bury, Blackburn Royal, Pendle Cottage hospital and Rakehead Rehab. Centre in Burnley. Now I am in my new home: a flat in Edenfield. The Church has been very supportive in this time, particularly Rob, Tony, Maurice, Peter and Oliver. Their love and care has been a continued source of blessing for me. I still need everybody’s help big style, but I know they are there for me. I am not out of the woods yet, many problems caused by alcohol, for instance, I am not steady on my feet, my writing hand is weak and lacks full feeling, and I will have to learn to write with my other hand. My mind cannot remember to read like I use to, I have to learn reading again. I have also lost my periphery eyesight. Abusing your body causes long-term physical disabilities, but I know that God is for me, that Jesus is my Saviour. I am part of the church family, and this church family have not washed their hands of me, despite my inability to kick my bad habit, they have given me a lot of caring love, not just in platitudes, but real active help. I am a Christian. God is for me and I know that He will always care and support me. There is no magic formula to put right what I did wrong. My body will not be miraculously healed, yet I can go on trusting in God. I can start to live for Him again, and I know that all things will work together for good to them that love God. So, there you have it, my testimony all up-to-date and with the comment on ‘to be continued’, I have trusted in God, but I need to trust Him more, I need to look unto Jesus the Author and Finisher of my faith. In concluding I would like to quote part of a song that I mentioned at my baptism and was and is a great blessing to me: Oh, to see my name Written in the wounds For through your suffering I am free. Death is crushed to death, Life is mine to live, Won through your selfless love. This, the power of the cross Son of God: Slain for us. What a love! What a cost! We stand forgiven at the cross.

In due time I married, and with the hustle and bustle of married life I never did find the time to go to church. Sometimes I would pray, and I sent my children to Sunday school, but for many years I did not go to church. By this time my family had grown up, and I was living in Ramsbottom. One day my daughter said something that was to change my relationship with God forever: “Mum, there is a church open by the railway, and I believe they are inviting people to go and hear Billy Graham and I am going to ask to go.” Linda did ask and went on the coach and on the way was in conversation with a young lady called Louise. When Linda came back she decided to start going to church each week. This Linda did. This made me think that it was about time that I also started to go to Church. So, in my 60s I started to go to church again. On going to church for the first time, I realised that my knowledge of the Lord was very limited. I continued to go to church regularly and enjoyed learning about God, his character, his ways (laws), and His dear Son the Lord Jesus Christ. I started reading the bible on my own and praying to God regularly; prayer became for me a deep feeling of knowing that the Lord was listening to me. Then came the opportunity for me to be baptised and I seized it with both hands. Oh how precious was that time, when I publicly confessed my commitment to the Lord! This was a most wonderful experience for me. Now, my husband has died and my daughter, who also has kept the faith, is looking me after. I am so blessed that I have such a good daughter to look after me. I thank The Lord for all his goodness to me I feel blessed that I know the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour. Even though I cannot manage to go to Church now, I know that I am part of the local family church, that I am loved, prayed for and helped whenever I need it. I love reading the bible and like in particular the books of Mark and John in the New Testament. These tell of the Gospel, the good news, that Jesus, God’s eternal Son came down to earth to live amongst men; how He healed many, and told us about His Father and our Father. These books tell us how Jesus suffered and died for our sins. I love and serve the one true and living God. The Lord Jesus Christ is my Lord and Saviour, who died for my sins and for all who will believe.

I would hold my head high when people looked on, Defiant and cocky, I knew I had won I didn’t need friends, I was a loner till the end And to be alone in my life, I was willing to spend But I swore I would change my outlook on life As it wasn’t worth all this trouble and strife But I couldn’t, I was stuck in a rut, and I couldn’t get out Alone in my world I wondered about life and whats it about I knew a guy at work, he was a Christian of the deepest intent He was morally upright and he said what he meant I’d see him taunted of his conviction on the shop floor He’d smile and walk courteously out of the door Unlike me, I would have gone for the kill I had trouble in keeping my stubborn toungue still I built up my courage and walked over to him I didn’t know at the time I was convicted of sin I asked him this, is life mapped out And if its so, please tell, whats it all about He looked at me curiously we hadn’t spoken for ages “Yes in a way”, he said, “Look at these pages” The pages belonged to the book of the LORD, He explained what they meant, and, he meant every word He showed me Romans 8 verse 28 And I couldn’t get enough, we talked until late, The next day I walked in, with questions in my mind What about “Adam and Eve, the Dinosaurs, the fall of mankind” He answered every question, I never questioned the Book, I took it as the word of God, and worth a second look He asked, what was stopping me from being born again, I hadn’t got a clue, but I couldn’t answer then, I rummaged round my head, for something to conflict You worh, get married, grow old and die,,, thats it! The Bible added a new dimension though, a light I hadn’t seen I walked through endless pages, places I hadn’t been He said, “God loves you, and wants you to follow him” And automatically, life didn’t seem to be quite so dim, So on that night in 84, I gave my life to God, I realised where I was before him, I realised where I stood I was a Sinner to the utmost degree Thats why Christ had to die on that bloodstained tree The next day, I told my new Brother at what I had done, Well pleased He was, then taught what was to come, Subject to ridicule and the expense of their jeers, Hold these problems up to Christ, and he will definitely hear. I didn’t gain any friends as I had really wanted I was jeered, laughed at, pushed and taunted, I had a new “Adversary” to deal with I hadn’t counted on But the problems I had I held up to Gods Son, And if I hold fast to the cross and give Jesus my all I’m less likely to sway and less likely to fall As a Christian goes, I’ve fallen quite a lot But what picks me up is the love that I’ve got I still haven’t many friends, just me and my dog The friendship, the love of “JESUS CHRIST”, and the whole family of God.

I come from a different culture and country, and sometimes it is difficult to cope and to understand the challenges, problems and stresses in my life. Believing in Jesus makes everything much easier: He gives me the strength and makes me calm. His confidence is helping me in all kinds of stages. Now I am more relaxed and I’ve a harmony, because I trust in God. Any time I am in trouble I know He can help me and Jesus shows me the right direction. I have met lots of valuable people through Jesus. Every Sunday I recharge my battery in the church. I am a fencing coach, and any time my pupils are struggling on the fencing piste, I pray to God and most of the time there is a significant change in the results! My heart fully trusts in Jesus Christ. Without Him I can’t be the same person that I am now. I think I am a better person than I used to be. I don’t know my future but I’m sure Jesus will look after me and protect me if I’m in Him. Reading the Bible and listening to the preaching is always a challenge – even in Hungarian it is very complicated, so the English is extremely hard for me! But every time I finish it I am more relaxed and balanced. I control my life smoothly. I fully trust in Jesus Christ. In my eyes Jesus Christ is a Saviour. He’s the only hope in the world. He’s completely perfect in His holy body and soul. He’s the Son of God with the same authority and power as God Himself. He came to this world to save us. He sacrificed His life for us. Otherwise we are obviously in the Hell, because we are all sinners. Jesus is a gift from God, and we can only escape God’s punishment if we believe in Jesus Christ totally. He gave us an opportunity to change our life and repent. In the beginning, we were made perfect and good by God, but we broke God’s law, so we have to face the consequences. We can’t see the future – all we can do is to trust in Jesus Christ and to follow His rules. Without Jesus we are already lost. If God did not care about His creatures, He would not have sent Jesus to save us. Everybody’s life has good and bad periods (good days and bad days) – I want to be ready for both. As a fencer you need protection in the battlefield, and in my life Jesus if a protector against the Devil. He’s the protection for all my challenges and without Him I would be lost. He gives me strength, integrity and hope in this world. I want to be part of the church because I like the people in this community. I’m a sinner like everybody else, but I’ve a chance to survive through Jesus the Saviour. That’s why I read the Bible every day because I’d like to understand God’s word better. Every day I try to learn from the Bible and use it to my benefit.

Having left school I started my working life in a local mill called P & S Filtration. I had thought of myself as being ‘one of the lads’, and tried to get on with everybody, and worked my way up the promotion ladder as best I could. My local pub was the ‘Hare and Hounds’ at Holcombe Brook, and I spent many weekends going to the night-clubs in surrounding areas, doing all the things people do in night-clubs. Socially, I suppose I was quite likeable, but I was a bit of a show off at times, and I guess many found this to be irritating. I had a keen interest in photography, which developed more in to videography as video cameras became more accessible. It was whilst working at the mill I first heard about ‘real’ Christianity. Up until then my understanding of Christianity was very limited and I guess I thought of it as one of the major religions of our world. Not knowing much of any other religion I suppose Christianity was the one I put myself under the umbrella of. Though I was encouraged to go to Sunday school in my childhood, much of my time was spent messing about in the class and trying to be the one who could come up with the most silly answers to any of the questions the Sunday school teachers might ask. I’d certainly never considered myself to be a religious person. It was one late shift whilst working under a loom, that my work colleague and friend Gary Hilton challenged me with the true message of Christianity for the first time. (Gary was a school friend who had become a Christian some years earlier, and had started work at the mill at the same time as me). Being confronted with the truth about Christianity was an uncomfortable experience at first because I had never been challenged about my personal sin, and the need of a Saviour before. Although I could accept that I was not perfect, to come to terms with my sin being an offence to a Holy God was disconcerting to say the least. That first conversation was rather heated, at least on my part. I went home that night very unsettled. I had always thought, that despite me having many imperfections, God would look down on me and see that I wasn’t that bad. I used to think to myself, “Surely He can see I wasn’t a murderer or a thief, I wasn’t a rapist and certainly didn’t go out of my way to hurt people. Surely He can see that I tried my best to do right by people, and that I’d done many kind and generous things, and that I would go out of my way to help people.” To now be confronted with the concept that God is Holy, and that my imperfections were an offence to Him, left me very troubled. Over the next 18 months Gary explained many things about Christianity including the hopelessness of any goodness we as humans could offer to God, and the claims of Jesus Christ to forgive our sin. Inwardly, I found myself secretly agreeing with him. In every conversation with Gary, I was desperately trying to say that God must be able to accept me because He knew that deep down I was a nice decent person. Gradually, I began to understand that if God was holy, and heaven was perfect, then my imperfections were an offence to Him and that they would certainly defile heaven. This was making so much sense to me: God could never allow heaven to become defiled by my sin, otherwise it wouldn’t be heaven. I began to realise that God saw the hate, the lust, the jealousy, the pride in my heart, just as clear as my outward actions. I could see that God couldn’t just wink at my sin and usher me into heaven as if my sin was of no real consequence. If He were to do that, then heaven would be instantly defiled by my ability to lie, my ability to deceive, my hate, my lust, my jealousy and my pride. If I was being totally honest with myself, God could never allow me into heaven like that. But how could I get rid of such a defiled heart? It wasn’t long before I realised there was nothing I could do to put right the sins in my own heart. There was no way I could outweigh the bad deeds with good ones. I certainly couldn’t prevent these kind of sins coming into my heart again. I did feel the guilt of this, and wondered if it would be possible to ever really get rid of this guilt. I desperately needed a Saviour who could forgive me for ALL my sin. During my conversations with Gary, he’d told me many times that Jesus died on the cross, so that He could forgive me for my sin, and in so doing, would bring peace between God and me. Not only would He take my sin from me and bear it in His own body, but He would give me His perfect righteousness, making me pure and undefiled before God. In other words, God would look at me through Jesus, and He would see the pure righteousness of His dearly loved Son. Though I kept this very much to myself, the realisation of this truth was overwhelming, and I knew I had no alternative but to sincerely ask Jesus to forgive me for my sin. Gary had mentioned more than once, that should I ever want to become a real Christian, there was no ‘magic prayer’ or formula of words that would make me one. What I needed to do was to say a prayer that I really meant, because God could see my heart, and knew whether or not I really meant it. This made so much sense to me, though I kept it completely to myself. As I began to spend more and more social time with Gary and his friend Graham Westwell, I became increasingly aware that I didn’t have the peace and assurance in my life that they had. They were convinced that should anything ever happen to them, they would go to heaven, not because they were good enough, but because they had been forgiven by Jesus. One Sunday evening, at the age of 18 years, I became so convicted by my sin and the need to be forgiven, I quietly went up stairs to my bedroom and finally asked Jesus to forgive me for all my sin, to come into my life, and make to be one of His children. I thanked Him for what He had suffered on the cross, as I realised He’d done it me, and I wanted now to live in a way that would please Him. After I had said “Amen”, I honestly thought something would happen to me. Maybe some kind of sensation would come over me, or a bright light would fill the room. I even went to the window to see if there might be anything in the sky I could see as a sign that God had accepted me. But there was nothing! Although I was very conscious about the fact that God was listening to me, and knew my heart, I had thought He might have indicated to me some how, that He had forgiven me. I went to work the next morning, before the noisy weaving looms were switched on at 06:00am. As Gary was halfway down the weaving shed making a cup of tea, I told Graham what I had done the night before. Without saying a word, he stopped reading his paper, looked at me with a furrowed brow and mouth slightly ajar. The look on his face made me think I’d done something terribly wrong. For a few seconds his face never altered as he came to terms with what I’d said. Then suddenly he turned away from me and shouted to Gary “Gaz. Gaz!! Rob’s become a Christian!!!”. I was instantly trying to keep him quiet saying “Woa, shush, shush. Everyone will hear you!” and “I don’t even know if God has forgiven me yet, nothing happened.” Both Gary and Graham assured me that so long as I meant what I said in my prayer, God would have definitely forgiven me. Asking them not to tell the rest of my work mates fell on deaf ears: they were just to excited that I had been SAVED, and it wasn’t long before the whole factory knew that Rob Stredder had become a Christian. All this came as a massive shock to everybody I knew. My family, my work colleagues, my friends I went to the pubs and night-clubs with, no-one who knew me could believe that I had became a Christian. The strange thing was, there did seem to be an angry reaction from some. My Mum and Dad seemed very angry about it, but I think this was more borne out of a concern, thinking I was involved with some kind of religious sect. My social friends really tried to get me to give up on Christianity immediately, forcibly picking me up in their car and taking me out on the town to try and get me drunk and wash this stupid idea of ‘becoming a Christian’ out of my head. They obviously had no idea of what a wonderful transformation had happened inside my heart. They were bitterly disappointed that my conversion had proven to be the real thing, and not some flash in the pan. In some of the debates I had with them afterwards I could physically see fury in their faces as the hurled insults at me cursing me with their curled lip, shouting things like: “You’ve just jumped on the band-wagon”. “Christianity is nothing but a crutch”. “You’ll be back drinking with us soon, you’ll see!” I can remember calmly replying; “I’ve jumped off the band-wagon, not on it”. The reality was that I had so much more to tell them. The more I tried, the more they stopped their ears, refusing to listen. More than thirty years have passed and I am more in love with my Saviour than ever. He has brought me though some of the most difficult times of my life, and been a source of real strength through them all. He has promised never to leave me nor forsake me, and He will take me to be with Him in heaven when this life is finally over for me. I have full confidence of this because He has died to make this possible, and I don’t believe He would lie or mislead me on such a crucial matter as eternal life.

I’d never spoken to any of them before but they were friendly and good fun to be with so I began to sit with them regularly. As time went on we became quite good friends and one week they invited me along to the Chelford House Fellowship run by a christian called Mr. Smith. The day was mostly spent playing various sports, which have never been my favourite activity, but thankfully that didn’t put me off and I continued to go along each week. In the evening we would split up into groups for Bible study, then later Mr Smith would preach a sermon. This was the first time that I’d really been confronted with the message of the Bible. I listened to what was said and began to read the Bible for myself and pray each day. I genuinely enjoyed the meetings and wanted to learn more about God. However looking back I can see that this was just an outward change, I was trying to please God by becoming religious, I hadn’t understood that it was impossible for me to please Him or earn my salvation in any way. I actually remember thinking that I would be okay on the day of judgement because I had started to read and pray. Looking through my old notebook it’s clear that I knew the truth that I was a sinner and need to repent and trust in Christ for forgiveness, but I hadn’t experienced it. It was as if I thought I could parachute into the middle of the Christian life without getting right with God. I started going to the fellowship in May and soon it was time for the fellowship holidays in the summer. It was there that the Lord opened my eyes to my true condition and showed me my need of Jesus Christ. Throughout the holiday we received clear, systematic teaching from the Bible about the way of salvation. For the first time I began to realise that Christianity was not about me doing things for God, but God saving me through Jesus Christ and His death on the cross for me. I realised that I was the enemy of God because of my sin and that I needed to repent, turn away from my sin and trust Jesus Christ. This all came to a head during one of the evening meetings towards the end of the holiday. God really spoke to my heart about my sin and I was gripped by the fact that if I died that night, or Jesus came again, I would be lost in my sins and be punished forever. I could think about nothing else. But God did not leave me in this despair. He pointed me to the wonderful Saviour Jesus Christ who had suffered the punishment for my sin on the cross. That evening I put my trust in Jesus Christ and He saved me. God brought such a wonderful peace to my heart and ever since I’ve had the joy and assurance that I am safe in my Saviour for all eternity. When I returned home I struggled to find a church to attend but the Lord drew near to me and kept my in my new faith. I was blessed with Christian friends who faithfully wrote to me and encouraged me. The Lord kept me hungry for His word and to grow in knowledge of Him. Several years later while I was staying with friends in Gloucester I realised that I couldn’t go on without regular Christian fellowship and Bible teaching so I began to attend Great Warford Baptist church. This is a wonderful example of God’s sovereign care for me because that same year I became ill with glandular fever and God really used His people there to comfort and strengthen me. My life would have been so much harder without them. The Lord has been with me throughout my illness, teaching me patience and humbling me. I think that one of the most precious things I’ve learnt, and I’m still learning, is that God is most concerned with who I am not what I do. My relationship with Him is dependent entirely upon the finished work of my Saviour. God has each day planned out for me and will give me the grace and strength to do what He wants, not what I want to do. A couple of years ago Oliver and Alison invited me to come to Ramsbottom and live with them for a year. It was a difficult decision to make to leave behind my family and friends and the fellowship I’d come to love at Great Warford. But I knew that my soul would be richly fed from God’s word and God’s greatest desire is for me to grow in godliness. I knew that I would always regret it if I missed this opportunity, so I made the move. And I have been blessed above anything I ever imagined, built up by the consistent Bible ministry and fellowship here. There is no great mystery to a happy Christian life, it’s each day, each week receiving the food which the Lord provides for our souls and walking in obedience to Him. God has given me a wonderful spiritual home in the fellowship at Ramsbottom. This is just a little of how the Lord has worked in my life and been so gracious to me. It’s my prayer that the Lord will speak to you and show you the wonderful Saviour, Jesus Christ.

When I attained that ripe old age, I began to prepare to go to Loughborough University in order to study Economics with Accountancy. In the light of this my youth group leader formally recognised that I was to leave the group, by giving me a book written by John Blanchard, called, “Right with God” on 29th September 1985. Out loud I said, “Thank you”, but inside I said, “I will never read that!” As the time to leave for university neared, my heart was intent on leaving behind the Christian teaching that I had been given over the previous 10 years. I wanted to live my life without the “shackles” of going to Church, and do what pleased ME. To me, university held a life of freedom to enjoy whatever I wanted. So with that in mind, the day before leaving for Loughborough, I started to pack my belongings. As I did so, I came across the book, “Right with God”, that I had been given 5 days earlier. For some reason, I opened its pages. I alighted on the words, “This book is written for seekers.” I thought to myself, “Well, that certainly isn’t me!” But somehow I kept reading & reading & reading. All through the afternoon I read, until over 100 pages later I became crushed by the weight of my sin, and was caused to see my need of Jesus as my Saviour. Ever since I had heard of Jesus, I had grown in my knowledge about Him. However, now I trusted Him myself, as my own Saviour. So I went to university, not to go my own way, but now to follow Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. I praise God that He saved me. My first day at university was highly significant. Having arrived & unpacked I met my next door neighbour in the hall of residence. Immediately he asked if I was going to the disco that night. Just 24 hours earlier I would have said yes, being wholly in line with my plans. Now, though I said that I would not be going. While I was talking to him, another knock sounded on the door. A couple from the Christian union came to invite me to their meetings. Prior to my leaving for university, my mum has given my name to the Christian union, but had informed them I was not a Christian. So as these 2 students invited me, I guess they wondered whether I would come. So in front of my neighbour I gladly said yes, and went to the meeting later in the evening. At the meeting, we all sat in a circle, and were asked to introduce ourselves, saying who we were, where we came from, what we were studying and how long we had been Christians. Imagine the surprise, when I outlined that I had only become a Christian 24 hours earlier! Through my first year at University I grew as a Christian in my knowledge of, and service of the LORD. He provided a good Christian friend, who took me to Holywell Free Church in Loughborough, and taught me the fundamental truths of the Bible. I also became involved in the Christian union, eventually leading the Bible study group in my hall of residence. During my summer holidays, I engaged in Beach mission with some university friends. The 2nd of these was at Westward Ho! In Devon, under the leadership of Dave Harding (now at Milnrow Evangelical Church). One night Dave announced that ALL that lads should preach in the open air for 2 minutes. Panic set in among us, but we all got up, accompanied by our nerves, to preach the gospel. On that night I knew God’s help and enabling, and it was the first step of leading His me to full time ministry. Having left University I went to work as an accountant. Firstly, for Tektronix in Marlow and then, for Motorola in Basingstoke. During this time I became a deacon at Yateley Baptist Church, but my desire to preach grew and grew. While we were without a pastor I spoke to the elder of the Church about this, and offered myself to preach one Sunday. Bravely he invited this timid 22 year old to preach. I took 1 Timothy 1v15 as my text, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”. I was even asked to preach again! In time the Church called as its pastor, David Potterton, who had just finished his studies at the London Theological Seminary. He took me under his wing, gave me a lot of time, teaching and encouragement, and this led to the Church formally considering whether I should be set aside to be a minister of the gospel. The Church rigorously examined God’s providence in my life, my gifting, my service of the Lord, etc. In due course the Church decided that it was right for me to enter ministry, after having completed a course of training. They then sent me to the London Theological Seminary (LTS), where I took a 2 year course under the tutelage of some godly pastors and lecturers. Upon leaving LTS I served in the Church in Yateley, while I sought the Lord concerning the future. During this time I became engaged to Maggie, and the Lord led us to our first taste of the North of England. In May 1994, I became the pastor of the small congregation of Ribchester Evangelical Church, through a mutual contact of Peter Brumby. Eventually, Maggie joined me there when we were married in the July. Up till then & ever since, the Lord has been kind, faithful and forgiving. He has been there through all the ups and downs of the life and ministry that I have encountered, and I know that He will be faithful even to the end.